Monday, December 21, 2009

Another Favourite

I don't usually love the really jesus-y carols, but Boney M's Christmas Album is, for me, the ultimate in feel-good retro music. Both my grandparents and parents spun this album every year growing up and we still bust a move to it every year.  Here's a favourite cut- the best part comes about 4 minutes in where you will be inspired to raise your hands in an over the head clap, and maybe even throw in a foot stomp:

My Favourite

Thursday, December 17, 2009

No One Cares

I worked for years in a photo lab. It was an interesting job because part of it was having to look at all the pictures. I say "having" because it was required that we look at all of them. Mainly to check quality but also because the police expected us to - we were expected to report any instances of child/animal abuse immediately. Believe it or not, this happened about once per year. Tell me you are abusing a child or animal and the first thing you think of is taking a picture? And then taking it for developing! Weird. People are fucked.

Anyhow other than those pics, the pics routinely developed were of a variety of things, but the most common ones were:
1. Niagara Falls
2. Weddings
3. Pets

Now this was in a time when people didn't really have digital cameras and everyone still used film. I miss film somewhat, the romance of not knowing what is going to be in that envelope is special. However, taking a million shots of something to get it just right with no additonal cost is hard to beat. So, I shoot digital even though I have an amazing film camera. I miss it. If I was richer, I'd use it all the time. In fact, if I was richer, I'd develop the (at least) 50 films I have in cold storage waiting to be developed. Maybe for an xmas gift to myself.....


I was always fascinated when someone would bring in an entire roll of 24 pictures, all of their dog or cat. Fascinated in a 'what-the-fuck?' kind of way. (Incidentally, take pictures of your pets outside please. They look like crap indoors, and they get red eyes.)  I couldn't ever figure WHY someone would want 24 photos of their cat, but then again I'm not a cat person. Or dog person, for that matter. But, maybe they were hoping for a good one to frame as a gift, or to take with them away for University. I can give the benefit of the doubt, even though what I honestly thought and suspected was that these people just literally had no one and nothing else to photograph. So to deal with their lonliness, they shot their pets. It's charming, in a weird way, I guess.

The modern version of this is people posting whole albums of photos of their cat on facebook. I will reiterate that I am not a pet person so maybe I'm missing the point. But why the fuck would anyone care to look at 124 pictures of your cat? I find this to be a growing trend too. It's like people are posting pictures of their cat the way they would a new baby.
I wanted to post this in my facebook status but I am a considerate person and I do not wish to offend those who deeply love their pets. I don't know why I care really. But I do. So, I will say it here.

People. No one gives a shit about your cat or dog. Please stop posting pictures of them.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Illustrator of the Month - December

I first saw the work of Angelina Wrona at a trade show. Gliclee prints on canvas of her work are now available to the mass market...but they wouldn't let me buy a show sample for wholesale. Meanies. Rule Followers. Hrumph. Guess I'll have to suck it up and order one, or find it at retail.

This is the one I wanted:

Wouldn't she be lovely in my powder room? I thought so.

Wrona blends Japanese Anime, folk art and representational styles and combines delicate, dark subjects with surreal twists and ideas. This collection of images is referred to as her 'Senta-Mental' dolls, as each one seems to live in a fairy-tale world, a world that is imagined and brought to life in the artist's Merrickville, Ontario home.

Wrona is having a show of new work beginning Sunday December 20th, 2009 at the Off the Wall Gallery in Toronto, Ontario. The gallery is at 450 Queen St. W.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Friday, December 4, 2009

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Everyone Loves Free

So I read this blog called Oh My God, That Britni's Shameless. It's not about Britney Spears, as you might expect, but rather it is a really interesting blog that has lots of smutty stuff including an author who writes in detail about her relationship that is dominant/submissive. She's the sub, and I really enjoy her writing on that topic in particular.

Today her post is about a new online retailer, Sexy and Discreet, who specialize in phthalate-free sex toys. Good times. Even better times? They are giving toys away free. Yep. A different one each week. All you have to pay for is shipping. AND! And they've included Canada in the offer, which is stellar, since American companies rarely do that.

So yeah. I ordered this week's toy. Of course I did! Check it out. 

Table Topic Dreams

I was lucky enough to recieve this little cube of cuteness for my birthday this year. Love the packaging. I was pretty excited about it because this is one of those things you see in a store, think, "Oh, Cool!", and then determine fourty bones is way too much to spend on yourself for something so unnecessary.  Well anyhow I got it for my bday and I hadn't even asked for it which made it sweeter. Basically the concept is that this cube contains a bunch of questions that start interesting conversations.
Now, I don't really have a problem starting conversations, quite the contrary in fact. However, I thought this would drum up some interesting ones that might not happen otherwise. Well, I've really only played it once. Eddy and I busted this out the day after Halloween and spent the better part of 4 hours taking turns asking the questions and I have to say, they are pretty much the same question over and over packaged different ways.

The question is this: If money is not a consideration, what would you do if...? Like, if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Or, if you could go anywhere for a week, where would that be?

Which is all fine and good but the reality is money is always a consideration. Sure, I'd fly off to Sweden and buy good waterproof winter boots and bag a hot black soccer player, but unfortunately, this isn't a possibility right now. Dreaming about it is fun, but isn't this pretty much the classic "say you won the lottery..." question? Just because you word that question 60 different ways and put it in a cute little box, doesn't make it a good game.

Otherwise, the questions are so boring you don't care to answer them. Like "In your opinion, what are the seven wonders of the world?"
Good question. Let me answer that after I've travelled the globe with no consideration to cost. It's one of those questions you begin to answer and then realize you are having trouble answering because you don't really give a shit. Or know enough about international geography to answer it properly. Or give a shit.

I'm wondering if the "Not Your Mother's Dinner Party" is a better version of the game, one of the sample questions is "Would you rather be addicted to gambling or food". Well, we already know the answer to that question, since my near life-consuming addiction to salt and vinegar chips is pretty well known. And I'm happy about it, and not planning on changing it either. Happily addicted.

I think a rousing game of "I've Never" might be more fun. At least you can target other people at the table with entries such as "I've never dated a homeless dude" or "I've never had sex in a  church parking lot".

What I think a product like this is good for is people who can't dream. I say this and you are probably thinking, "Oh, you are bonkers, everyone can dream!" Nay. Nay I say, let me tell you something. My dad can not dream. That man, he's incapable. If you said to him, "Dad, you won ten million dollars in the lottery today, what would you like to do?" He'd literally not be able to come up with an answer. He'd argue with you about the source of the money and somehow it would turn into a lecture about what the average income was in 1976 and what it is now and how fucked up the world is.

For people that that, this game is excellent. Unfortunately, people like that don't like to play games.

Dreaming is easy for me. I spend more time dreaming than actually doing and I wouldn't change that. I might spend more time doing, but I'd have to increase the amount of dreaming time appropriately.

If I won ten million dollars, I'd book this resort out and take all my friends. We'd eat fresh sugar cane and soursop fruits and salt fish and ackee and curry goat and  drink buckets of Red Stripe and have pockets full of the bush weed we wouldn't even bother with,  heading out daily to the jungle to spend five american dollars on the good stuff. Sigh. Goldeneye is Ian Fleming's (author of the James Bond series) estate in Jamaica that is now a resort. 18 acres, and only a few beds, maybe enough to take a couple dozen people with me at most, and they'd have to share beds. Not me though, I'd have a villa all to myself. A bed so big I could sleep horizontally for fun. When we were in Ocho Rios you could see the famous Bond Beach. White and empty, just the way a beach looks best.

Give yourself a five minute dream vacation, click here to see the photo tour.