Sex, Society, Scribbles and Scenes

My Last Post, I think.

2010-03-25T18:59:00.000-04:00

Today I read the website of a headhunter who claims the new rage is posting your resume online on your own website. I'm pretty active online - current profiles I maintain for myself or other businesses on at least a weekly basis include: Facebook (three pages), Twitter (two pages), Blogspot (three pages), Wordpress (1 page), my Linkedin, and a corporate website. This doesn't count my long-ignored Myspace, the other myspace accounts I run for other people, and of course, my abandoned blogs. There is the myspace blog, 2 linked to this account I'm currently in, and another that I've lost access too (and can't remember the name of) that was fully anonymous. Oh, and the one attached to the gmail account I set up last year as a temporary portfolio site, and since I can't recall the exact email address, I'm locked out of it too.

In going to set up another new blog/website on which to post my resume, professional writing and so on, I actually discovered a blog that was not only abandoned, it was also fully forgotten. It was about boycotting Perez Hilton. At the time I started it, I was hooked on that stupid site, checking it every day, even though it consistently pissed me off. I decided that a method of quitting it would be to write a blog post each time I wanted to check the site. I got to 5 posts before I abandoned the site, and then I forgot all about it and Perez Hilton. It's a miracle! I'm actually capable of quitting something.

So then I got to thinking, if I were going to hire me, I'd probably google me first. Good lord. Kids these days have no idea of the permanence of what they post online - even I forget sometimes. That damn record review will haunt me the rest of my days. Even things that were never published online - like that letter to the editor I wrote to a music mag (which was edited to all shit, removing all the good bits, and claimed I was from "Chilliwack") is now in Google Docs. Sigh. Everything people, everything you post online is virtually permanent.

In fact, I forgot that for a short time I used facebook's app "Networked Blogs". Even though I've removed the App and deleted my blog from the app, it still shows up attached to my name in a google search. The link doesn't work, so hopefully at somepoint the app will clean itself up and it will stop showing up in searches. I don't know how else to get it off there.

The thing is this - I'm not ashamed of a single word I've written here. The problem is that now that I'm blogging (partially) for a living, what do I need this blog for? How much time do I want to dedicate to this shit? When I initially started it I guess I harboured some unrealistic idea that I could be a paid blogger just by writing whatever I wanted to. Cause I'm so awesome. I dunno. I also write for enjoyment, but it has become somewhat like art for me. When your hobby is your job, it's hard to use that same hobby as a way to unwind. At very least I recall thinking that if I named my blog after my favourite things to read, review and discuss, that it would keep my interest long enough to at let me remember my password. Of course what it lead to was being able to offer expertise on blogging and eventually hooking me up to blog for other people, and companies.

As I said, I'm not ashamed. In fact there are some articles on here I'm quite proud of. What I'm trying to work towards is having control over my own brand. Yes, me, a brand. Since it is so damn easy to brand onself online these days I have to join in. Doing so will allow me to link up my many social networks and to present the version of myself online that is hireable. I don't think this blog makes me unhireable - that's for sure. But it doesn't appeal to all potential employers, and it isn't ALL I'm about. I guess I just want more brand control and now that I have a vision for what my brand is, I need to start weeding out the useless things I've posted online and leave only the version of myself I would want someone who googles me to find.

After all, I find making out in public pretty repulsive. No one needs to know who I think is hot or what kinky toy I'd enjoy getting my hands on. Well, some people might WANT to know, and I'm overly willing to share that, but I don't think I should continue to post it publicly, unless I plan to become a sex therapist or blogger. Though being a sex therapist or sex blogger is something I'd love to do, it's unlikely at this point. It's amazing how your career can kinda just fall into your lap, your expertise becoming so specific, and almost by accident.

At this point I'm an expert - a real expert - in some areas. Though I might like to think so, I'm not a sex expert.

So I'll be leaving the blog up for a while, I guess. At least until I can figure out if that stupid App will ever fix itself, so as to permanently detach my real name from this blog. If it can't, this blog is coming down, or whatever. I'm considering moving some of my best posts to my new home, but we'll see.

Those of you readers who actually know me in real life are welcome to join me at my new home. Don't worry - it won't be hard to find - it will be attached to my newly minted brand - my real name.

Thanks for reading.

Called It

2010-03-23T11:45:00.000-04:00

You know the great satisfaction of the feeling you get when you say "I told you So!"...yeah, I get that when I mention things that are uptrending and then they become trendy. Like the time I told Carmyn that she would, within a year or so, begin to feel an uncontrollable urge to buy Purple. And she did. We all did. Blue is next, in case you are wondering. Bright blue, navy blue, teal. BLUE. Get some.

Since I forecast as part of my work, being right also comes with professional success to some degree. I imagine people who forecast real things, like profits, also experience this satisfaction when their predictions are correct. Though they probably financially benefit from such correctness, and really, I just get to sit around feeling smug.

Trends are funny bitches though. Sometimes it seems like a sure thing and then you are totally wrong about it. The journey from counter-culture to mainstream doesn't always flow as expected. But remember way back in February of last year when I talked about Steampunk and how it was a growing trend? Yeah, today I popped on to Twitter to update a corporate profile I maintained, and guess what was a trending topic? "Disney Steampunk".

Yep. Disney is getting in on the movement. Nothing quite says "mainstream acceptance" like being a part of the Disney family.

Lingerie Love

2010-03-08T21:15:00.000-05:00

Oh I love it so much. Hand made. LOOK AT THAT LACE PEOPLE! Lovely.

Ohhh...drool...it's loving crafted by Carine Gilson.

Excellence

2010-03-02T14:10:00.000-05:00

Sometimes when I write a blog post I feel like I just don't quite get it right. It doesn't have everything I want to say. I can't quite find all the examples that I want or I leave myself feeling conflicted about some parts of it. That's how I felt recently about my "equality" post. Anyhow, this article fully gets it right, and says everything I wanted to say, and then some about equality, and the illusion of it, in our times.

The article also uses awesome pop culture references to help you wade through the heavy bits. Highly recommended reading. Have girls gone anti-feminist?

Video Barbie

2010-03-01T12:27:00.000-05:00

Here she is, the truly modern Barbie. That's right folks, this Barbie offers a first-person perspective to the kiddies by including a built in video camera. The lens is...somewhere on the front, while a colour LCD screen resides on her back, allowing for an all-in-one recording experience.

She'll also come with online editing software to allow users to make their own movies!

It can record up to 30 minutes of footage and the software allows for the addition of music, other sound effects and some visual effects as well. Available in July of 2010!

Now, what to do about those terrible denim capris?

I have to say this is pretty cool, and as a kid I would have loved this toy. I see the generation of teens younger than me who are so savvy on how to make/edit videos, using photoshop to edit their pics for the net, writing html code, etc. Imagine what the generation behind them will be able to do at a young age? It is mind boggling. Also, it makes me happy with my decision to not specialize in web or graphic design and instead use those tools to break into another career field. Because if I had stayed in that field I would have to constantly worry about keeping my skills up to date - these kids are going to put lots of designers out of work in 10 years. The ones sitting on their 10 year old college degrees, wondering why all these 18 year olds are so much quicker than they are. They'll be able to think a webpage into existence, I swear it. Creative designers will (well, should) always have work - but the ones who are simply technical designers...look out.

BTW, it still sucks they made Barbie's boobs smaller and her eyes larger and wider set. I don't get it.

Lightening Up

2010-02-27T17:50:00.004-05:00

Gah! I've been so ranty lately.

So here's something different. I've been working on decorating the place a bit, I guess since we bought the place I've been doing things over time but lately it has ramped up and we have a picture of what we are working towards. I like colour, a lot, But I'm also practical. The first room I decorated was our bedroom. It is something along these lines, though it was done before I found this picture:

I don't have the chandeliers, not my style. I wish I had these lamps, those are the only things I really haven't rounded up yet for the bedroom. I'm waiting for just the right ones at just the right price. These are amazing. But the room is bright white, dark wood, orange, fuschia, red and yellow. All the colour is in the accessories and linens and artwork. So that gives you a starting point for my home.

For upstairs, as I mentioned we recently got an orange sofa. The colour palette is going to be softer up there- if you could call it softer, but will be an all-colours welcome design, though with a focus on orange and touches of navy - not a lot, mostly already in the artwork. There won't be any harsh limes or fuschias...simply primary and secondary colours. Yeah, just yellow, red, blue, orange, green and purple. Six colours isn't too many is it? I'm leaning towards a look with antique white walls, which is why so many of the upcoming pics have white walls. We already have a mid-century credenza and lots of other natural wood and 70's brown stuff as our foundation, that will help soften the look of all those colours. All the brown stuff is hand-me-down or 'inherited' for the most part - the ideal thing about hand me downs is if you are lucky enough to have them all from the same era, they all match.

I've got Piet Mondrian-inspired stained glass going into the panels in my kitchen cupboards, to give you a sense of my commitment to the all-colours idea. Basically, with the warm woods and orange sofa, orange is going to be the main focus colour that will stand out. Not just because it is pylon coloured! Obviously, since I have a big ol' orange couch in the middle of the space now.

Here's some pictures I have in a folder of home decor inspiration.

Equality

2010-02-26T19:24:00.001-05:00

Today I read this article about female equality in America. It is excellent, you should read it. A couple of days ago I watched the movie North Country and it was good too. My biggest problem with the movie was being able to believe that anyone as insanely and perfectly beautiful as Charlize Theron is would actually work in any field other than modelling or acting. I don't mean to sound sexist in a post about sexism, I'm sure she could be a miner, it's just...man, she's impossibly beautiful, and it is hard to imagine someone like her struggling in life, not being able to find work. Cause pretty people do seem to have advantages. But outside of that, it was good. Educational and uplifting.

The movie is a semi-fictionalized account of a long legal battle that a group of women miners undertook. It was a class action sexual harrasment case, as they had endured a hostile work environment and numerous and continuous insults as well as unwanted touching (and some spunk in locker) when they became the first women to go work at the Eveleth Mines in Minnesota.

Personally I've never experienced that level of sexism or sexual harrasment. But I have experienced a number of the things they did talk about in the movie, and that are talked about in the article I mentioned. I am underpaid. I know I would be paid more if I was a man. I work in a pretty sexist environment. It is frustrating as all hell. Because it is a delicate balance - that earning respect, loving yourself, keeping your paycheque game. Suddenly you have a mortgage to pay and calling out your boss on his idiocy isn't as easy.

I can't imagine dealing with the things that women in working generations before mine dealt with. It must have been really fucking intense to be, say the first female fire fighter. Or the first female line worker at GM.

I was actually the first ever female 'courtesy clerk' at a local grocery store. I got the job because my mom knew the manager and she told him she knew I would work hard. This manager wasn't keen to hire a girl cart pusher, but she kept bugging him. Thanks mom! So, I got the job.

This job entailed rounding up the carts from the parking lot, and cleaning up spills, and dealing with the 'bottle room', which was the room on the other side of that little black door where you used to put the 2L glass pop bottles for a refund (back in the day when those still existed. Wow, I am old.) That involved a LOT of spilled pop and ants and broken glass. The carts were heavy and didn't link together with 25 cent return links either. It sucked, but I did a bad-ass job of it and was promoted within 3 months. It wasn't all bad. The hardest part came with the attempt to train the fake-nailed over-makeuped woman who was to replace me, and totally failing at getting through to her that sometimes, just sometimes, you might have to break a sweat. In that situation, I suddenly realized why they didn't generally hire women for that job. She wasn't as stubborn as me - she didn't have anything to prove. I was kinda pissed off. I felt let down, when they fired her and put a male, 6' tall basketball player in her job. At that moment, I realized, sometimes it isn't about sexism. It's about the right person for the job. And ultimately, I guess, it was more a reflection on poor management and hiring skills than anything, but I think the manager just had the impression that if I could do it, any girl could do it. A good lesson in sexism on the job. One person can ruin even minor, semi-unimportant inroads that other people make. There was never another female courtesy clerk in the time that I worked there. Which was too long, by the way. My point to this? The fight ain't over man. That manager saw me as one thing: female. The same way he saw her.

I've been generally lucky; I never ever felt scared to go to work. I never felt threatened physically.

But what I do deal with on the regular is the lingering entitlement of older men who feel that being not-sexist on the surface somehow absolves them of all wrong-doing. It seems if they act like their comments are jokes they will be ignored. Worse still they feel like they are giving us some sort of honour by watching their comments in our presence. Worse than that, they don't even realize most of the time that the things they say and do are sexist.

There are two ways women usually deal with with the boys club. One is the ol' if-you-can't-beat-em-join-em approach, the "one of the boys" deals. Yes, I've gone that route before. It's easier. And lots of girls are dumb, and since I fit in easily with the guys it has often been an easier route to take. Look, I like tits too, ok? It is hard not to take that road.

The other oft-taken route is to ignore. I take this one too, sometimes. Better to walk away from that inappropriate comment about my weight/figure than to deal with it head on, right? Afterall, getting into an arguement with your boss about if it is appropriate to refer to a co-worker as an 'old biddy' is a lot of effort, might drive a wedge between you, and really, is it so bad?

But reading this article and watching this movie is a solid reminder that if you aren't fighting it, you are perpetuating it. If you join the guys in their slander talk instead of standing up to them, you are no better than they are. If you don't do something at work because you think it is the 'guy's job', you are letting them leave you, forever, in the 'women's job'. It's a simple as seeing us all as people rather than genders.

I think this gets easier the older you get. Maybe it is confidence. Maybe it is that you care a LOT less about what people think of you the older you get. Maybe it is that you have had a taste of the real world. I dunno. Whatever it is, it is important. Being called a feminist is a badge of honour.

Illustrator of the Month: February 2010

2010-02-25T20:30:00.001-05:00

Olivia De Berardinis, known mostly as just Olivia, was born in California in 1948. She was an only child from a nomadic family who spent much of her time drawing to escape the world of adults she lived in. Her first model and muse was her mother, Connie. Her mother was a willing model, and as the artist describes, "She was a disgruntled glamour-puss, and would entertain me with terrible imitations of Mae West, Garbo, Dietrich, Hepburn and Zsa Zsa Gabor. She was a cross between Sophia Loren, Lucille ball, and Rosie the Riveter."

Olivia attended the New York School of Visual Arts, and worked for a few years as a minimalist oil painter, before turning to the commercial arts to make ends meet. She has painted all the classic girls from Bettie Page through to Dita Von Teese and as a result she has developed a loyal following of collectors and published hundreds of limited edition prints. Her work is also available as tshirts, cards and calendars. Olivia has published in a number of men's magazines but is now prominently featured in Playboy magazine, on the page previously held by famed pin-up illustrator Alberto Vargas. Olivia's images are hand selected by Hef himself, who writes the captions for her images each month.

I love the agression and feirceness with which Olivia portrays women. These aren't women who are accidentally caught with their pants down, these are women in control. These are women choosing to show you their sexuality and at times it is frightening, alluring, intoxicating. There are models who look innocent, there are models that look dangerous. I admire her ability to capture the spirit of pinup with a nod to the history of the style, but also her ability to do so in a totally modern way.

Sofa Waiting

2010-02-25T13:47:00.003-05:00

Last night I finally bought a sofa. I'm waiting for it to be delivered. I've been wanting to since we got our condo, and have been suffering through using two of the ugliest sofas known to man that were hand-me-downs. I say "suffering" with some sarcasm because I do realize having two hand-me-down sofas isn't really suffering at all. But the second one really, really offended my aesthetics. Even when I put a giant brown slipcover on it, I could still see those damn rolled armrests. So today I wait for new sofa delivery. It's orange.

Purchasing a sofa has been no small feat. I'm pretty clear on what I like and dislike and with my budget it has been nearly impossible to find anything other than terrible things like this:

Look. I realize that this isn't the most offensive sofa ever made. In fact, it's pretty good compared to most of the stuff at the Brick or Leons or Bad Boy. But see those puffy rolled arms? This is totally what people call 'contemporary'. UGH.

I can't think of any thing I like less than what people commonly call "contemporary" decor. It is what people do to their homes when they think they are being fashion forward and stylish. This would go in a house with a lot of beige and maybe one of those brownish red walls randomly painted in the middle of the house. It goes with dark wood and virtually everything in the Zellers Martha Stewart home collection. Safe. But somehow people think this is a 'designer' look. It isn't. It is a mass market look. I know I'm not like most people in this regard. But it can still irritate the shit out of me, right?

Why I take offense to this whole look is that to me it is simply uninspired. It isn't thoughtful or creative or well designed. It is just what is "in". Red is in = red sofa. I admire those who can buy mainstream things and feel like they've really updated their look. But I have bad news for these people. Your stuff isn't going to look contemporary or 'new' in 10 years. It is going to look like it was purchased in 2008. Just like this; which was once called contemporary and looks like it was designed somewhere between 1988 and 1991:

I'm not trying to be some sort of design snob, I'm really not. I simply wish people were more original. I want us to catch up with european design taste that has existed for decade upon decade. We north americans have been so slow to adopt a modern look, it just came and went in the 50s and didn't stick around or get improved upon at all. In the 80s, there was an attempt, but it failed miserably (because it was badly executed) and so people went running back to nostalgic looks. Like those brand new subdivisions that look like the victorian era puked all over them. Like sofas that look like they are designed for the Pope to sit on them with doilies and toile and gold threads woven through. Like "country" blue and little white geese in the early 90s. How did we go from Eames chairs to little white geese? What happened?

Outside of Ikea and the relatively-new Urban Barn, where do we Canucks have to shop for unique and relatively affordable furniture? Sure sure there's upscale design stores and small boutiques in the big cities. But you know what? I can't afford a $4000 sofa. But is there nothing betwixt the $4000 designer item and the $799 Brick special? Does my budget mean I must suffer through bad design? Isn't the Brick or Leon's capable of selling furniture with unique features? Different styles? I'm serious when I say there wasn't one sofa at any of the big box furniture stores that I would even consider dropping a grand on. My ugly slip covered sofa was better. The thing is, people don't care about good design. They want cheap, comfortable furniture that fits their idea of what is currently fashionable.

But it wasn't always like this. This is a symptom of the mass market world we now live in. Nothing is purchased by retailers in small quantities. This is really the global marketplace taking away our choice. In the case of something like books, mass marketers take away our array of choices, but it is ok, because they give them back on the internet and include free shipping. But in the case of large items like furniture, the choice is taken away and not well replaced by the internet. (Ever looked into the cost of shipping a sofa from LA?) At one time you might have had a miriad of sofa choices in a wide selections of fabrics to choose from, and the option of customizing your choice for your space, all this made possible because the stuff was produced locally. You now have only the top 20 designs in one colour made in China and shipped in massive containers of only that one design (afterall buying huge quanitites of the same thing keeps prices low).

Furthermore your sofa doesn't have any shelf life. The design is going to go out of style, but likely no faster than the couch itself will disintigrate into nothingness. No products are made to be permanent anymore. Everything is disposable.

Because everything is disposable (I'm looking at you, 5 year old dvd player on last legs) these days, it doesn't matter if the style is 'classic' or 'timeless' or 'well designed'. Because the retailer is counting on you buying a brand new one within 10 years anyhow. Following the herd to the new trendy look, colour or style.

Furniture that is unique and well designed should last a lifetime. It should appear timeless. You shouldn't look at it and think "wow that reminds me of a boy-girl party I went to in grade 7". This is why stylish people with taste all over america are frothing at the mouth to get their hands on mid-century modern design. It is still fashionable and stylish after all these years because when people made the products, they were making them to last a lifetime. Not a decade.

I'm not saying I have the most timeless style ever or something, I just want to have more options available to me. At this point, some of my best items have been finds at garage sales and thrift stores, where people don't have good taste, or at least, they don't know as well as me what something could be worth. Like the two wooden lamps I bought this week, likely circa 1960, with original shades for $15 on kijiijii. Those lamps placed in a decor store on Queen street would have fetched ten times that because the people selling them would appreciate that 1. they are classic, 2. they are original and 3. they can't be replaced.

There, I just identified them: Those are the three points missing from all contemporary furniture. 1, it isn't classic and has a short shelf life. 2. it isn't original at all and 3 they can be easily and affordably replaced.

I've never really seen lamps like I just bought in a store in my lifetime. But I've seen at least 3000 variations of this lamp:

I'm honestly not even going to bother to figure out who was the designer that brought these clear based lamps into style because I don't care. It's now been ripped off so many times that it doesn't matter anymore. And I think this is because corporations are so scared of taking risks. They just want safe. They want results for shareholders. They reproduce this in a watered down version. They'd rather rip off every design in their catalog to ensure it is "safe" and has lots of "turns" (product management speak for how many times the stock turns over in the warehouse) so they can make the most money possible every year.

One of the first companies in the US to really begin selling modern furniture, Design Within Reach, has been falling apart recently, because instead of continuing to sell designer furniture like Knoll orignals such as Eames chairs and Barcelona Chairs, they decided to start selling their own crappy versions of these. Essentially watered down cheap mass market knock offs of the originals. Because they wanted to improve their bottom line. There's a great article about that mess in a recent Fast Company issue, if you want to read more.

Why are we north americans so obsessed with fast and cheap? I wonder if it is because our countries are so young, so new that we can't imagine the future. European nations have this perspective on time, because they are filled with buildings thousands of years old. They see that things change, but not really. They appreciate timeless quality and good design because they are well aware that those 'things' could be around for many lifetimes. At least this is my theory. We don't have any perspective on that. Which is perhaps why we continue to recycle 'victorian' over and over again. We keep seeing victorian buildings as 'old' and there is some sort of nostalgic attachment to that style, so we keep recycling it.

People seem to think modern is always cold and minimal. Not so. This was recently confirmed for me by this little home decor style quiz I did that was shockingly accurate. Also for my mom, and another person I know who took the quiz. Try it out and see if it works for you. I got "earthy modern". Which couldn't be more true. I like modern looks, especially mid-century things, and I love warm colours in my decor. I want it to be comfortable and pleasant. I want lots of natural woods and original finishes. Hand made things. I don't want rolled arms and tufted things and anything that looks like it was designed before the first world war. And I want it to be well designed. So I must say, the quiz's placement of my style was bang on. I felt it was so bang on in fact, that I celebrated by purchasing my orange modern sofa.

Oh! My sofa just arrived. Must go lounge.

Under Pressure

2010-02-18T22:51:00.001-05:00

Earlier today I commented on weddings, and how I don't want to have one. Following this I saw a friend's mom publicly lay on the baby pressure. This happens to me all the time. Not quite as publicly from my mom (her approach is the more subtle "should I save these baby clothes?" type) but quite publicly from my mother in law and sister in law. Those two are on me like white on rice. They are ready. I can usually laugh it off, but sometimes not so much. Depends on my mood.

Baby pressure is terrible. I have about 50 different answers I give as to why I'm not yet a mother or at very least trying to become one. People are so quick to judge. 22 is too young, but 28 is too old?

Truth is, it's no ones fucking BUSINESS why I don't want babies (yet?). But everyone and their dog assumes it is their right to ask. Hey loser, did you ever consider that I might not be ABLE to have babies? Perhaps you are touching on a sensive, personal issue? But no. This doesn't cross anyone's mind.

Amazingly, people somehow think it is socially acceptable to ask you about your child-bearing plans, but those same people wouldn't dare ask you if you actually are pregnant for fear that you are just fatter than they recall and it being embarassing for them. Funny that. They are worried about embarassing themselves more than they are about embarassing you into talking about the future plans for your uterus.

Alas, if it isn't baby pressure (which mounts and mounts until it seems it will only improve as a result of a violent verbal outburst that includes the words: VAGINA, FUCK, MINE and YOU!) it is wedding pressure.

Ah, wedding pressure. The best part about wedding pressure, is that people have even less shame about commenting on that then they do about your ability to procreate. After all, all women love weddings, right? All women spend their whole lives waiting for the white dress and princess tiara and big fucking cake, right? All women want their perfect stupid rom-com man-in-white-suit top-of-a-mountain marraige proposal and a three carat diamond....right? RIGHT?

Right after my post today. I was asked. Again. "So, when is your boyfriend going to propose?"

I can't believe how often I get asked about it. Granted, I've been in (what appears to outsiders as, but is not accurately described as) a very long-term monogamous relationship. True, I am common-law married. Thanks government, for making that decision for me. But why is it automatically assumed that I want to get married? Are there really so few of us that don't want to, that we are some rare breed?

At work it is the worst.

It seems when you get to be in your mid to late twenties (or early thirties) and you aren't married to your significant other, people assume a few different scenarios.

In scenario One, you are patiently waitin' for the big question to be popped. You don't want to spoil the surprise, so you've actually never had a conversation about marraige with your partner. Thusly, you obediently wait. There is no regard paid to the fact that you might live together or have been dating for years. You haven't discussed it. You are waitin'.

In scenario Two, you are not so patiently waiting. In this scenario, you have made it known that you are waitin' on the diamond, with intense implied desperation. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner knows this, but for some reason has cold feet/is a commitment phobe/treats you poorly. You are a poor, poor victim. You want it but you just aren't getting it. It must be torturing you.

In scenario Three, your partner and/or you are too poor to afford a wedding and/or ring.

I could probably imagine other scenarios that people assume. But why bother? From the things people say to me, these are the three most popular. It is simply not possible that you don't want a wedding. That is somehow inconceivable.

I mentioned earlier that it is the worst at work. My boss isn't the youngest man. He's full of random vague racism and sexism and all the other shit that comes with being white, rich and old. All that said he's a super boss and a pretty cool newfie with three daughters. I say this because he is rad in a lot of ways, and does give me a fair amount of respect in the workplace. At least more than I've ever had from an old, white, rich boss. He's just not that good with...boundaries. After every holiday, and I mean EVERY holiday, including Valentine's, Xmas, New Years, vacations, fuck, FAMILY DAY, he asks me if my partner has given me a "big diamond yet". He assumes either scenario one, or two. I think he means it as a compliment, like, why wouldn't I have one yet, since I'm such a catch? He's not the only one. The head of customer service makes a point of coming to my desk after each christmas break and/or vacation to "see the stunner!"...that I never get. She hides her disappointment poorly.

Look, it's nice and all that people think I'm such a catch that my partner is an idiot for not proposing yet. And I'm sure since I work on weddings from time to time that people think I must really be into it and have something huge and inspiring planned for myself. But it doesn't just happen to me. A coworker of mine gets it too. Over thankgiving she broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years. First day back from xmas, people start asking her where the ring is. She says to me, "I don't even have a fucking boyfriend right now. How do these people think they know me well enough to ask that when they don't even know if I have a boyfriend?" Amen sister.

But, you deal with it, right? You deal. And over time you get up the balls to tell people flat out that you don't plan to get married. You always get the same response: "EVER?" As if your life will not be complete. Look, I'm not saying I'll never get drunk and elope in Las Vegas. I'm not even saying that it could never ever ever ever happen. Part of me thinks for some reason if I do decide to have a baby, that maybe I would then. But even that is a big maybe, and it definitely won't involve a big wedding deal. I don't have some big moral thing about it. I don't have a feminist arguement against it. It is just not for me. This seems impossible to believe and people look at you with those "oh, you're just saying that cause you are secretly waiting for the proposal" faces they make. I find it insulting in a lot of ways. The reality is, if I wanted a diamond and a wedding I would have it by now. Do I seem like a pushover? Do I seem like the kind of person that does not get what she wants? Why is it assumed that I am some weak female waiting for the marraige Godot? If I wanted it, I would ask for it, and I would get it. That's just it. I don't want it.

I thought I had my rant on this finished for today but for some reason it keeps coming up. This afternoon I read this great comment by Sarah Silverman about marraige, and human rights. Indeed, it is an interesting time for marraige:
"In the interview, Silverman also said she finds it hypocritical for people to get married today, since gay people can't legally wed in most states. To do so, she said, is comparable to joining a country club in the 1960s that would bar Jewish and black people.
"Not only would I not get married until everyone else can, I kind of am starting to get appalled by anybody who would get married in this day and age," she said.
"Anyone who considers themselves for equal rights -- to get married right now, seems very odd to me."

Well I'm Canadian so I can't use that excuse. But she makes an excellent point.

I think the weddings I find most annoying are these feminist commitment ceremonies. They really seem well intentioned and all but in reality, how are you thwarting the patriarchy by doing exactly what patriarchal society tells you to? Sure sure you didn't use chair covers and your dress was vintage and you have it at city hall...but doesn't make it any less a wedding and any less a social construct designed to tie you to someone (and maybe god and the government) legally. Forever. Or until you pay a lawyer to fix it.

Yeah sure third wave feminism is all about doing things your own way and being able to express your individualism. Sure, this feminist wedding thing is an improvement on the white dress property-of-your-husband thing, but it is still a socially relevant rite-of-passage that helps you fit into the demographic profile society has created for you. Way to go on the individualism there.

Anyhow, if it is for you, great. Enjoy it. Do it for the right reasons for pete's sake. Love it up. Good on you. But it isn't for everyone, and please world, stop trying to make it right for everyone. It isn't.

I'm really really tired of being made to feel that I am lying about my true feelings on both babies and weddings. Many of us are. Stop asking us, please.

Brooch Bouquets

2010-02-18T12:55:00.000-05:00

Three posts in one day. I know! But...am rewarding myself for writing all these horribly hard-to-write motivational emails to people I might fire soon. Brutal.

Anyhow whilst preparing my blogroll (honestly, is that the right word? I don't even know but I don't care cause it's fun to type and say silently to myself.) I visited finestationery's blog, which I visit often to keep on top of trends, how the other half lives, and colour palette ideas for work.

I've talked a bit on here about what I do but currently I have one full time gig, and two side businesses. One is a marketing and design consulting business that I've mentioned, but I also have another business that I only advertise word of mouth- I'm a floral designer. I specialize in custom weddings. I prefer really unusal things but I'll do red roses too. It's not something I advertise, but I can tell you since I would assume many of ya don't know me. On that topic, should I add an email address to my blog? I see others have one. Do you get messages?

Sorry, I digress. To be a floral designer and make any money, you gotta do weddings. Doing a wedding takes up a whole weekend. Usually a summer weekend. Since I'm at that age where a lot of people are getting married, I get a lot of referals, and generally, since I'm...what some people have kindly referred to as motivated, I can't say no to a gig. So I don't advertise. An ideal summer has 2, maybe three weddings booked. Maybe 4. Depends on the size of the wedding. Upcoming I am booked one weekend in July and one in Sept. I think that's enough for this year, since the Sept one is shaping up to be a doozie.

ANYHOW, (rambles on) I came upon these awesome bouquets upcycled from antique brooches. Aren't they awesome? I love them.

Even more amazing is how much I can love these, and real flowers, and looking at what people in the biz call 'wedding porn', and have amazing, unique ideas for brides, and yet still not ever want to have my own wedding. Never have either, not even as a child or a preteen. My sister always tried to convince me otherwise. She thinks I'm just in denial. A 30 year denial, it seems.

The thing is, the very idea of them upsets me. I don't want some god or the government in my relationship any more than they thrust themselves upon it already. Also I don't like the concept of not being able to leave a relationship at any time. Some say not being married means you are choosing to be together, not out of obligation, but out of love. That's way mushier than I would go, but I get the sentiment. Another take would be that I'm commitment phobic. Maybe that's true too. All I know is, a wedding seems like a bad idea to me. But, that's just me. Besides, I like other people's weddings, so I'm no party pooper. I even cry sometimes, if the vows are sincere enough. Open bar weddings are especially fantastic. It's just the idea of having my own makes me ill. Really the only good part to having your own wedding in my estimation is the party and the honeymoon. I figure, if I ever do feel the need to have some sort of shin-dig featuring my awesome lovelife, that it'll be a party and a vacation and that's it. I might have the very first wedding-less wedding ever.

Cobrapants

2010-02-18T12:09:00.000-05:00

It's been a while.

No, I'm not singing along to a Britney Spears song, though that wouldn't be unusual, would it. Nope, I'm referring to how long it has been since I've posted some rant about some societal bullshit that has pissed me off. It's not for lack of pissed-offed-ness, but for lack of time and energy.

Ah well, I know I'll get around to it at some point. Maybe after the Olympic Men's Figure Skating champion is crowned. I find that whole kaboodle quite distracting.

Meantime check out Cobrapants, my new favourite music blog. I love it so hard. Especially cause there's free music! Love free music. LOVE.

Complete with downloadable dj mixes that make my life livable. My commuting life, in particular. Yes, that's me, rocking out in my car, TOTALLY HARD. You shoulder dance? That's weak. I want to see you thread the needle while travelling 120km an hour, then you can talk to me about car dancing, ok?

Check it out. This post has an excellent mixtape.

OMG I'm Famous

2010-01-30T18:37:00.000-05:00

Do you ever google yourself? I did today. I found out that a woman with the same name as me is somehow a character on one of these "Real Housewives of..." shows. Same name! She clearly isn't that famous yet, since I only heard of her this way. But imagine someone who had your name became super famous. Like your name is something very normal like "Michael Jackson" and then Michael Jackson comes along....Weird. That would be weird.

Not as weird as being named Theremin though.

An aquaintance named their baby Theremin recently. Their male baby. Yes, like the horror movie instrument. I suppose that reduces the likelyhood that your kid will have their name become famous unintentionally.

Illustrator of the Month - January

2010-01-29T21:08:00.000-05:00

I almost missed this month's entry. It has been insane, with work travels to Atlanta and LA, and that on top of this being my busiest month of the year at work. Doubly this year, since I seem to keep inheriting the title "project lead" on shit, which is just that, shit, because it means somehow you are responsible and trusted by your employer, it also means you are responsible for and supervise everyone else's work fuckery. Suddenly their procrastination becomes your problem. It is lucky that Christmas falls when it does, because otherwise I don't think I'd survive. I think I might be the only person who looks forward to February each year.

This month the artist came to my attention reading Juxtapoz magaine on the airplane. One of the perks about travelling for work is that I can expense my reading material for the plane, and this time I picked my regular as well as Juxtapoz, for a change. Other work trip perks include staying in cool hotels and drinking premium alcohol for free on work nights. Not only expected, but encouraged. This is fine by me, but I have got to stop making 8am presentations hung over.

Juxtapoz is excellent - art without stuffiness and pretention, but still real articles on the topic. More articles than advertising, that is always a treat to see. Their cover artist on the January 2010 issue is Kehinde Wiley.

Kehinde Wiley is a painter. His style is something different for me, not something I would normally pick as a love. But, after finishing the magazine, I kept coming back to the pages with his images over and over again. I keep thinking about the meaning behind them. I am enamoured with his ability to freehand paint patterns. No digital cheating here folks. Saying that makes it sound like making digital patterns this complex is easy. Well, it isn't, but it is damn easier than doing it by hand.

He paints portraits of youth - primarily African American, sometimes of other cultures or races, but always the underserved male youth. He places his subjects in settings that will feel familiar to you if you study art history - history at all really, as he places them in typical poses from early 19th century portraiture or Renaissance portraiture.

Those grand, proud poses.

The work is so engaging because the artist is clearly a master - his attention to detail, the style, the painterly strokes. But it is also totally current - relevant to today's youth culture and yet is haunting because of the oddness of the pairing of these two eras.

I find his work compelling because of this contrast, but also because I feel the artist is also commenting on white arrogance. There is, among a certain generation, or personality, in white folks, the inclination to find offense in black arrogance. Personally I find arrogance refreshing, I find confident people the most interesting. But I am specifically thinking of my (or your) parents "not getting" rappers braggadocio - or the "controversy" regarding Usain Bolt's "arrogance" at the last Olympics. That sort of thing. That sort of racist thing.

Because somehow, despite the oddity of this portraiture, people still hold it in very high regard. And likely wouldn't question the confident nature of the subject.

Aside from all that thinking hard stuff, his images are really cool to look at. Juxtapoz has nice full page reproductions.

Kehinde Wiley is also gay. Maybe this shouldn't be mentioned in this post, but it seems significant to his work to me. Should I mention it? I did.

Accepted in the hip hop community, Kehinde was comissioned to do a number of portraits for the hip hop honours. Hip hop & gay don't usually ...typically go together, so that is pretty interesting. And good.

Bring the Magic Back

2010-01-21T20:37:00.000-05:00

The record companies cry poor. Oh, wah, wah wah. You stole our money and didn't even really give it to the artist for decades, and now we are supposed to feel sorry for you? Idiots.

The reality is that the world has changed. Marketing has changed. Music hasn't really changed, but the music industry has, because no one wants to pay for music anymore. The music industry changed right in front of their eyes, and no one did anything about it. Sorry, they did. They sued some kid who had no money. They decided to rape fans, real music buying fans, of even more money: They created the "Deluxe Edition" re-release by tacking on "THREE NEW SONGS!!!" to a year old album, to make the real fans buy it twice. What assholes. The cover of a particular Warrant album comes to mind.

The film industry was suffering too. No one goes to theatres anymore, because the home movie experience is so grand (your own couch, your own snacks, your own toilet, your own pause button...) that no one wishes to even bother going out anymore. People download everything they want to see from the net. So what did the film industry do? Yeah, they put those dumb warning messages about pirating on their films, but they also decided they needed to create a reason for people to go out to the movies again.

3-D. Genius! You know how many movies I've seen this year in the theatre...and by "this year" I mean 2010? 2. Two. Yep, and that's 1 more than I saw in the theatre compared to the year previous, which isn't a good sample because I only went to that one movie because Gary asked and it starred Christian Bale. Normally, I avoid the theatre at all costs. 2 times this year and it is still January. Now that is good marketing.

Ah, 3d. Some of the stupidly beautiful things they are creating are simply worth seeing at the theatre to fully experience all the incredible work and artistry going into these films. There's magic again. It is fully overwhelming at times. During Avatar I actually had to move seats to sit farther from the screen, because it was so overwhelming I was feeling dizzy. They've gotten over that dumb "make it look like it is coming right at them!" 3D thing they used to do, and now they create the most incredible immersive experiences. You can see the pores on skin, see the nose hair bristle with breaths.

I'm not a huge animation buff, but I know from working in digital formats how incredibly hard and time consuming this kind of animation is.

What I'm getting at is that the music industry needs to learn from this, and fast. They expect us to pay for our music. Fair enough. But instead of giving us something extra for our money - something we want and can value, like a great experience, a cool tshirt, a poster or a good booklet, they expect us to buy the same old crap. Instead of staying with the modern age and accepting that they must adapt, they complain and sue people.

Why should the music industry get special treatment? Why should we feel sorry for them? Motherfuckers need to learn to ADAPT because that is what all industries must do in a transitional world. They charge HOW MUCH for a download? It isn't even a REAL thing! If my computer, or mp3 player dies, and I'm not the most anal man alive who backs everything up, it is gone. Sure, I can lose a cd, but at least in that case, someone finds it. Give me a 3d totally sick animation with my download. Maybe a mini movie message from the artist. How about a log in key for exclusive web content...and the content is actually desirable?

You want me to pay for it? Make it worth my money.

Poster Boy

2010-01-14T12:34:00.000-05:00

Poster Boy is a New York city area street artist, who uses only a razor. He cuts sections out of posters on the street, and rearranges them. Some of them are so, so good. Check out his flickr to keep up with recent work.

Short Rant on Conan/Leno

2010-01-13T10:26:00.000-05:00

I grew up watching Conan. Leno, I can't relate to. It was Letterman, then Conan. The best was when Andy was on the show, and he's back now. Amazing.

This whole stupid thing with Leno not really wanting to leave is terrible. You know what it is though? It's exactly what everyone of my generation is going through. No different. I say "my generation" loosely I guess - Conan is a good chunk older than me, but he's going through the same stuff I am and many of my friends are.

The baby boomers are just refusing to retire. Seen it over and over again. It's bullshit. They decide that a million dollars (or in Leno's case, many millions of dollars) aren't enough to retire on. They can't 'maintain their lifestyle forever' so they don't want to stop working. At least not fully. They don't even really want to work longer - they just want to feel needed. They don't want to quit working, because the extra money is nice, and they have underlings to do the hard work. As a result, the younger, better trained, more energetic staff are stuck in lower level jobs until they do.

My boss is either 70 or close to it. He's already got his house in Florida and is there half the time. I get stuck doing my job and his job. Do I make more money? Of course not. When will he retire? It isn't in the forseeable future. I've seen this time and time again. "Kids" in their thirties desperate to take over a family business, move from entry level to something that will actually utilize their shit-tonne of education (which of course they were told to get by boomers - "or they'll never get ahead".) The boomers have sucked up all the resources - pensions, medical benefits, secure jobs, secure economy - they had it all and fucked it all up.

And now we - in lower paying jobs in lower positions, living in a world where the average yearly income and the average cost of a house aren't even within $100,000 of eachother, are supposed to start saving for OUR retirement now so we aren't broke and destitute since there is nothing left for us. But we can barely pay our mortgages and bills, since no boomer will retire fully and let us have the decent jobs with which to get ahead.

This is exactly what Leno is doing to Conan. He can't let go of his fame and he isn't ready to leave. He wants more money. His 10pm show failed, thusly screwing Conan of any chance for a good 'lead in' show, and instead of letting him go, they've given him his OLD show back, that they already passed on. Dispicable. NBC has fucked Conan's chances of having any success with the show he spent his entire career trying to get.

I hope Conan leaves and gets a timeslot against Leno and destroys him in the ratings. There would be a sweetness to that, for all of us who are stuck...waiting....

Another Favourite

2009-12-21T19:59:00.002-05:00

I don't usually love the really jesus-y carols, but Boney M's Christmas Album is, for me, the ultimate in feel-good retro music. Both my grandparents and parents spun this album every year growing up and we still bust a move to it every year. Here's a favourite cut- the best part comes about 4 minutes in where you will be inspired to raise your hands in an over the head clap, and maybe even throw in a foot stomp:

My Favourite

2009-12-21T19:17:00.001-05:00

No One Cares

2009-12-17T14:12:00.002-05:00

I worked for years in a photo lab. It was an interesting job because part of it was having to look at all the pictures. I say "having" because it was required that we look at all of them. Mainly to check quality but also because the police expected us to - we were expected to report any instances of child/animal abuse immediately. Believe it or not, this happened about once per year. Tell me you are abusing a child or animal and the first thing you think of is taking a picture? And then taking it for developing! Weird. People are fucked.

Anyhow other than those pics, the pics routinely developed were of a variety of things, but the most common ones were:
1. Niagara Falls
2. Weddings
3. Pets

Now this was in a time when people didn't really have digital cameras and everyone still used film. I miss film somewhat, the romance of not knowing what is going to be in that envelope is special. However, taking a million shots of something to get it just right with no additonal cost is hard to beat. So, I shoot digital even though I have an amazing film camera. I miss it. If I was richer, I'd use it all the time. In fact, if I was richer, I'd develop the (at least) 50 films I have in cold storage waiting to be developed. Maybe for an xmas gift to myself.....

Anyhow...

I was always fascinated when someone would bring in an entire roll of 24 pictures, all of their dog or cat. Fascinated in a 'what-the-fuck?' kind of way. (Incidentally, take pictures of your pets outside please. They look like crap indoors, and they get red eyes.) I couldn't ever figure WHY someone would want 24 photos of their cat, but then again I'm not a cat person. Or dog person, for that matter. But, maybe they were hoping for a good one to frame as a gift, or to take with them away for University. I can give the benefit of the doubt, even though what I honestly thought and suspected was that these people just literally had no one and nothing else to photograph. So to deal with their lonliness, they shot their pets. It's charming, in a weird way, I guess.

The modern version of this is people posting whole albums of photos of their cat on facebook. I will reiterate that I am not a pet person so maybe I'm missing the point. But why the fuck would anyone care to look at 124 pictures of your cat? I find this to be a growing trend too. It's like people are posting pictures of their cat the way they would a new baby.
I wanted to post this in my facebook status but I am a considerate person and I do not wish to offend those who deeply love their pets. I don't know why I care really. But I do. So, I will say it here.

People. No one gives a shit about your cat or dog. Please stop posting pictures of them.

Illustrator of the Month - December

2009-12-16T09:41:00.000-05:00

I first saw the work of Angelina Wrona at a trade show. Gliclee prints on canvas of her work are now available to the mass market...but they wouldn't let me buy a show sample for wholesale. Meanies. Rule Followers. Hrumph. Guess I'll have to suck it up and order one, or find it at retail.

This is the one I wanted:

Wouldn't she be lovely in my powder room? I thought so.

Wrona blends Japanese Anime, folk art and representational styles and combines delicate, dark subjects with surreal twists and ideas. This collection of images is referred to as her 'Senta-Mental' dolls, as each one seems to live in a fairy-tale world, a world that is imagined and brought to life in the artist's Merrickville, Ontario home.

Wrona is having a show of new work beginning Sunday December 20th, 2009 at the Off the Wall Gallery in Toronto, Ontario. The gallery is at 450 Queen St. W.

Snowflake

2009-12-09T16:52:00.000-05:00

via design*sponge

Dear Santa

2009-12-04T19:45:00.000-05:00

I'll have one of these please.

Kinky

2009-12-04T19:37:00.000-05:00

Here.

Everyone Loves Free

2009-12-01T22:22:00.000-05:00

So I read this blog called Oh My God, That Britni's Shameless. It's not about Britney Spears, as you might expect, but rather it is a really interesting blog that has lots of smutty stuff including an author who writes in detail about her relationship that is dominant/submissive. She's the sub, and I really enjoy her writing on that topic in particular.

Today her post is about a new online retailer, Sexy and Discreet, who specialize in phthalate-free sex toys. Good times. Even better times? They are giving toys away free. Yep. A different one each week. All you have to pay for is shipping. AND! And they've included Canada in the offer, which is stellar, since American companies rarely do that.

So yeah. I ordered this week's toy. Of course I did! Check it out.

Table Topic Dreams

2009-12-01T12:21:00.002-05:00

I was lucky enough to recieve this little cube of cuteness for my birthday this year. Love the packaging. I was pretty excited about it because this is one of those things you see in a store, think, "Oh, Cool!", and then determine fourty bones is way too much to spend on yourself for something so unnecessary. Well anyhow I got it for my bday and I hadn't even asked for it which made it sweeter. Basically the concept is that this cube contains a bunch of questions that start interesting conversations.

Now, I don't really have a problem starting conversations, quite the contrary in fact. However, I thought this would drum up some interesting ones that might not happen otherwise. Well, I've really only played it once. Eddy and I busted this out the day after Halloween and spent the better part of 4 hours taking turns asking the questions and I have to say, they are pretty much the same question over and over packaged different ways.

The question is this: If money is not a consideration, what would you do if...? Like, if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Or, if you could go anywhere for a week, where would that be?

Which is all fine and good but the reality is money is always a consideration. Sure, I'd fly off to Sweden and buy good waterproof winter boots and bag a hot black soccer player, but unfortunately, this isn't a possibility right now. Dreaming about it is fun, but isn't this pretty much the classic "say you won the lottery..." question? Just because you word that question 60 different ways and put it in a cute little box, doesn't make it a good game.

Otherwise, the questions are so boring you don't care to answer them. Like "In your opinion, what are the seven wonders of the world?"

Good question. Let me answer that after I've travelled the globe with no consideration to cost. It's one of those questions you begin to answer and then realize you are having trouble answering because you don't really give a shit. Or know enough about international geography to answer it properly. Or give a shit.

I'm wondering if the "Not Your Mother's Dinner Party" is a better version of the game, one of the sample questions is "Would you rather be addicted to gambling or food". Well, we already know the answer to that question, since my near life-consuming addiction to salt and vinegar chips is pretty well known. And I'm happy about it, and not planning on changing it either. Happily addicted.

I think a rousing game of "I've Never" might be more fun. At least you can target other people at the table with entries such as "I've never dated a homeless dude" or "I've never had sex in a church parking lot".

What I think a product like this is good for is people who can't dream. I say this and you are probably thinking, "Oh, you are bonkers, everyone can dream!" Nay. Nay I say, let me tell you something. My dad can not dream. That man, he's incapable. If you said to him, "Dad, you won ten million dollars in the lottery today, what would you like to do?" He'd literally not be able to come up with an answer. He'd argue with you about the source of the money and somehow it would turn into a lecture about what the average income was in 1976 and what it is now and how fucked up the world is.

For people that that, this game is excellent. Unfortunately, people like that don't like to play games.

Dreaming is easy for me. I spend more time dreaming than actually doing and I wouldn't change that. I might spend more time doing, but I'd have to increase the amount of dreaming time appropriately.

If I won ten million dollars, I'd book this resort out and take all my friends. We'd eat fresh sugar cane and soursop fruits and salt fish and ackee and curry goat and drink buckets of Red Stripe and have pockets full of the bush weed we wouldn't even bother with, heading out daily to the jungle to spend five american dollars on the good stuff. Sigh. Goldeneye is Ian Fleming's (author of the James Bond series) estate in Jamaica that is now a resort. 18 acres, and only a few beds, maybe enough to take a couple dozen people with me at most, and they'd have to share beds. Not me though, I'd have a villa all to myself. A bed so big I could sleep horizontally for fun. When we were in Ocho Rios you could see the famous Bond Beach. White and empty, just the way a beach looks best.

Give yourself a five minute dream vacation, click here to see the photo tour.

Gay Make Outs

2009-11-25T20:34:00.000-05:00

It is with some shame that I admit I am a huge fan of American Idol. Ok, not huge like I buy any winner's albums, but huge like I'll get annoyed if you call me in the middle of an episode and if you don't take the hint and let me go, I'll ignore you and say "mmm hmmm" a lot until you get annoyed with my lack of attention and hang up on me.

This past season Adam Lambert was my pick. He was a power rock vocalist, which is hilarious, cause who is one of those these days? He ended up coming in second. It doesn't matter who came first, he was boring and lame. How many Jason Mraz's does the world need? We barely need one. Anyhow, Lambert was clearly the better artist, performer, etc. And clearly gay, though they wouldn't let him say that on the air. He was so good that in his first audition he sang Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody and not only did I not groan with displeasure (as would normally happen when hearing that song) but instead thought, "holy shit, this guy is as good as Freddy fuckin' Mercury!" Cause he is. His voice is crazy-insane. A touch theatrical for my taste but there was really no one else on the show who even came within a million miles of Lambert. Or as he quickly was nick-named, "Glambert". He did this totally awesome cover of Tears for Fears' "Mad World" you can watch here if you like. He performed with KISS in platforms and huge shoulder cages, was forced to sing a medley that included the terrible "Beth"...and totally rocked it out.

Anyhow there's lots of stupidity going on this week 'cause Lambert kissed a dude on stage (and also 'simulated oral sex' pictured above) at the AMA's this past weekend. The west coast feed cut the kiss. News shows are blurring it out. Pure idiocy. It is a KISS people. It is SIMULATED sex. Fuck, have you watched a fucking Miley Cyrus performance recently?

Is a same sex kiss a big deal?

I know it's been said by many bloggers. I don't think I'm original in saying this, but a kiss is totally not a big deal.

The fact that it is being blurred from newscasts and splashed all over the internet is rediculous at best. What is the outrage? That two men kissed? That he's openly gay?

The part I find most offensive about all the coverage is that newcasts keep saying idiotic things about how shocking it was - but refuse to come out (punny) and say that it is offensive because he's gay. They'll say it was 'overly sexual', 'inappropriate for a family show' or 'shocking!'....BUT never say 'We were surprised to see a man being sexual with another man!' which is really the truth. The fact is, he came second on AI because millions of people voted for the dude, and surely most of them must have known he was gay. Fans are even saying "I'm ok with him being gay, but I don't know if I'm ok with that."

But the reality is that's what being gay is. Not always, but damn well often. Being gay shouldn't be this sexless sanitized version of it we always see. For too long being gay has been portrayed only as the girl's bestfriend role, a loyal listening ear who never gets kinky. Stanford on Sex and the City. Will on Will and Grace. Sure, these are like some of the gay men I know, but most gay men I know also enjoy the occasional popper and dirty pick-up joint and have little to no interest in shopping for shoes with me. And I love them for that. I love that openness.

Sure, maybe Lambert knew this would happen, and he's gotten lots of press for his album that is coming out.

But I don't care. What I care about is that there is suddenly a very very mainstream star being very very gay and not apologizing. That rules.

Richard Kern

2009-11-19T19:44:00.001-05:00

I briefly mentioned Richard Kern in my last post, and I thought I'd share some more Kern images for fun.

I first heard of Kern when he directed the Marilyn Manson video "Lunchbox", I was such a loyal little fan! The good old days, when Marilyn Manson was still a good band. Aw, just listening to this song in the background while typing this gives me warm fuzzy feelings. Really.

Kern is primarily a portrait artist, though he dabbles in video direction and pornography. One might argue that any nude portrait is pornography, I would argue the opposite, and that's why I say he dabbles in pornography. Usually the subjects are just nude.

I think that Kern's portraiture possesses a unique vision that serves to express the human connection between himself and his subject, while recording subtle moments in cultural history. It is the voyeur in the artist's spirit that captures the subject in a portrait, while it is narcissism or a lack of objectivity that keeps that view out of self portraits. Not to say that one is better than the other, but it is interesting to see the way two portrait artists might capture the same individual in such different ways that the person may be unrecognizable between portraits. Somehow, the self portrait lacks this quality and ability - we as artists tend to capture only the self we wish to see.

He is part of a wave of artists (and average folk alike) that are taking nude photography out of studios and shady development labs into the mainstream home. The digital era has changed pornography and therefore our depictions of perversion; we can now find "anything" but also create "anything" we can imagine. An artist like Kern seeks to find new and dynamic ways of exploring these expressions that allows the viewer to think differently about sexual diversity, while maintaining his artistic credibility. These are not simply nudes for the sake of sexuality, perhaps the sexuality exists within the model, and Kern captures it, or it is projected by the viewer.

Sasha Grey

2009-11-15T16:23:00.000-05:00

I like a bit of porn here and there, enough to have favourite stars. Like Alisha Klass, my long time favourite. She's my fave because it seems mostly like she actually not only wants to be there, but is also enjoying herself. This is key to good porn for me. Oh, also, she doesn't have big dumb fake boobs. It seems I have a type though, I'm totally smitten with that black-haired pale skin thing, I guess because it is the opposite of me. Well, not exactly, but in a way.

I say I must have a type because I have a new crush. I saw a great documentary on the industry called 9-5 Days In Porn. It was a good watch, and there was lots of screen time for Sasha Grey. I have grown to appreciate what it is she is trying to do for the industry, herself, the art of sexuality. Also, her name is pretty cerebral for a porn star, in that the Sasha is for the guy from KMFDM and the Grey is for A Portrait of Dorian Grey, or maybe the concept of a sexual 'grey area' based on the Kinsey Scale. It is not genius, but it is much more amusing than "cherry holes" or whatever lame porn name most stars have. Also she's in an industrial music band. She's recently been in Steven Soderbergh's "The Girlfriend Experience", which I'm looking forward to seeing. She produces and directs her own films but is also pretty popular in the mainstream sense, winning a lot of awards and accolades in the industry. I'm intruiged by this 3rd...or fourth? Or seventh wave of feminism, if you want to call it that. I'm intruiged by the choice to go into porn knowing the dangers and challenges, and by the strength it must take to set out to own your own empire.

So I caught this interview with her from Playboy and I thought I'd share here, as a worthwhile excuse to post some smut which has been greatly lacking in these parts lately. I completely agree with her point about violence vs. sexuality. The pictures are quite atypical for Playboy which is refreshing. They actually remind me of old-school Playboy shoots much more than anything recent, which could be explained by the shoot being done by photographer Richard Kern. A refreshing lack of tinfoil lips and fake tan.

PLAYBOY: Your Lolita-inspired photo shoot in our December issue is stunning, and Richard Kern is a master, but you're a creative person yourself. When you’re starring in someone else’s work does it make you itch to be calling the shots yourself?
GREY: It definitely does. This shoot was Richard's, but it’s a great challenge when you arrive to a set to do something you don’t normally do. They put me in clothes and hair and makeup that I probably would never wear, but it’s fun because you’re playing. Lately I’ve been getting my creative kicks shooting a lot of my own stuff. I’ll think of set designs and we’ll build them, sometimes something I thought of the night before. It’s fun to be able to do that and not feel constrained.

PLAYBOY: How does a Playboy shoot compare to a porn shoot?
GREY: With Playboy you get better hair and makeup. It was a nice change to be using people from the fashion world for that. But really in terms of photography and video, I think the adult industry is further behind than it ever has been. Stylistically we’re in a real rut. We still paint girl’s faces with too much blush and too much foundation and tease their hair and everybody has to overexpose every photo they take and it all looks the same. You could take pictures of me and replace my head with another girl’s and people would never know. There’s a lack of creativity and personal touch. And nobody wants to challenge that idea.

PLAYBOY: But porn is a market-driven industry, no? Isn't the adult industry just giving people what sells? Is the rut due to uncreative producers or uncreative consumers?
GREY: I don’t think people always know what they want until it’s given to them. I just create stuff that I would want to see. And I’m trying to get to a point where the only person I’m working for is myself. That’s why I started my own company. We’ve finished several movies now. The fifth is my favorite. It's called Cold, Black Water and comes out in November.

PLAYBOY: In the past you've described your work as performance art. Do you consider what you do pornography?
GREY: It's both. And it depends on how you define pornography.

PLAYBOY: Do you have a personal definition?
GREY: I think 80 percent of what we see on television is pornographic. And this is the same thing that Larry Flynt and Hugh Hefner were talking about when they started out. We’re in wars and we watch people get killed and there are video clips of people being beheaded on the Internet, but we laugh and joke about that. At the same time we’re still so sexually repressed. But somehow the violence is more acceptable. People complain about adult film, but I’m much more worried about people becoming numb to violence than numb to sex.

PLAYBOY: But how do you define pornography?
GREY: I don’t. It’s not something I care to define.

PLAYBOY: In that case, why not define your work purely as art?
GREY: Because some of it's porn. And I don’t think that’s a negative. It’s like junk food. We all need a little McDonald's once in a while. It’s cheap and easy and available and it might not be the best, but it gets the job done.

PLAYBOY: You’re starting to direct your own stuff. Which directors have influenced you most?
GREY: Catherine Breillat and Gerard Damiano. Damiano didn’t care about money, he didn’t care about anything, he just wanted to make art films with sex. And he made Deep Throat, one of the most famous porn movies in the world. I also love Goddard, [John] Cassavetes and Michael Mann.

PLAYBOY: Do you consider yourself a feminist?
GREY: Yes and no. I feel like the term “feminist” has become so watered down that it's almost become meaningless.

PLAYBOY: Do you feel like there are parts of the industry that are demeaning to women?
GREY: Yes, but it primarily has to do with the business side of the equation. The days of “I was pressured into doing this” and so forth, those horror stories aren't such a big problem anymore. There are always going to be damaged people and problem areas, but that’s not the entire industry. I think people are more manipulated financially. Sure women get paid more than men as performers, but men control the entire back end. And most of the time performers don't get residuals. It's a day rate and that's it.

PLAYBOY: You’ve gone the route of starting your own company. Is that the answer to the financial manipulation?
GREY: It’s either that or start a union and I don’t see that happening any time soon.

PLAYBOY: Do you have ambitions outside the adult industry?
GREY: Well my book comes out in December. It's photo-heavy, but there's a decent amount of text in there by me. I didn't want it to be just, “this photo is from this day on this set” because that gets boring real quick. So it’s more about my sex philosophy.

PLAYBOY: What is your sex philosophy?
GREY: Well if I tell you now you won’t buy my book!

PLAYBOY: You seem like a different kind of porn star than people are used to.
GREY: I'd like to believe that I evoke a different idea of what an adult star is supposed to be. I think society is often uneasy with young women who present both their sexuality and intellect. In one respect I am happy to have the ability to shine a positive light on our sexual freedom, but most female celebrities who are considered sex symbols aren't thought of as strong individuals intellectually. Men like Matt Damon and George Clooney are thought of as both. I would like to see that shift.

Illuminati

2009-11-12T21:36:00.001-05:00

There's some people who have a lot of time on their hands who have decided that both Beyonce and Gaga are mind control tools of the illuminati. Well, I won't bore you with repeating it, if you want to know about it, you can go here and see. Anyhow, while wasting my valuable time reading this garbage, I came across this:

Which seeks to explain Lady Gaga's VMA outfits as inspired by Alice in Wonderland characters. I don't know if this is the work of some fan with a good imagination or was truly Gaga's intention, but I think it's pretty awesome.

Damn you! Damn you Gaga! Stop amusing me so.

GaGa Again

2009-11-10T19:33:00.000-05:00

I gotta say, I'm still really not that into Lady Gaga. I am sort of half trying to like her, since she is somewhat how I'd imagine the lovechild of Marilyn Manson and Madonna to be. My main issue is I can't really dig her music. But what is music these days but image anyhow? If Gaga was only selling me her image (or only selling me images) I'd be a fan.

Because this my friends, is pretty.

Illustrator of the Month - November

2009-11-05T09:45:00.006-05:00

Garance Doré is a fashion illustrator living and working in France. She has a fantastic blog that features her mind-bogglingly good illustrations as well as her street fashion photography. Oh, and she's also the Sartorialist's girlfriend. She recently designed a range of t-shirts for The Gap which featured her illustrations, that sadly aren't available in north america. Anyhow, without further ado, here are her fantastic illustrations.

Calendar Season

2009-10-30T10:58:00.004-04:00

Working in the stationery and calendar industry has made it completely impossible for me to remember what year it is. An example: when I began advertising my halloween party for this year, I posted it as "Halloween 2010". Someone had to point out my error. While it is clearly still 2009, in my mind, it is almost 2011, since those are the calendars we are pretty much finished designing around the office. Furthermore, we are about finished planning product for August 2010 launches, and have started things for the following January. It's all a bit much to keep track of. I genuinely have to think about it when I write a date, all year. While most people spend January writing the previous year's date, I am writing one two years in advance.

Anyhow, I see a lot of calendars in my line of work and most don't do a lot for me. I mean, a calendar is great, and in spite of the digital age, I still like my old analog calendar. They are pretty, affordable decor and they are helpful when you need to figure out how many mortgage payments you'll be making this month or plotting out a doctor's appointment 6 months in advance. I know you can do these things on your computer, but really, I just like to have the thing turned off in the evenings when I am not working. Which is rarely, with all the jobs I have going right now.

But I digress. I see a lot of calendars that don't do much for me design wise - they work well and have pretty artwork, but don't strike me as original in any way. But, this calendar does:

It took me a look or two to figure it out. The designer calls it the Cats Let Nothing Darken Their Roar calendar, or, as you can see below in the design by removing the black letters, "CALENDAR". Each month's name is spelled out by removing the black letters, though if you read the phrases with letters in, they are quite amusing. I think it would be fun to have this up in your office and watch the confused faces of people who read it. I also have a thing for type and the cool colour pallette is pretty without being twee.

They sell them in smaller sizes for offices or small spaces, but they also sell it in a large free-from-a-chinese-restaurant size that is really cool.

I found out about it over at artist Samantha Hahn's (a previous 'illustrator of the month') blog Maquette. Check it out, it's a great blog.

Oh, and happy Halloween everyone.

Illustrator of the Month October

2009-10-28T12:42:00.006-04:00

Chelsea Groves lives outside of San Franscisco. She graduated from the University of South Carolina in 2003 with a degree in Art History and began working as a Graphic Designer. After a few years she began tinkering with paints and papers and has been making these beautiful bird collages ever since, and is now a full time artist.

I am a big fan of Chelsea's collages. The technique is unique and it creates a vibrant, graphic quality I really admire. The majority of the backgrounds are painted in acrylics, and then the leaves for foliage are cut out individually. The birds are composed of carefully trimmed layers of paper and are accented with paint and ink.

Chelsea also creates Linocuts and paintings. You can see more here.

Quote Search

2009-10-22T12:10:00.002-04:00

I have to find all these uplifting quotes for work. Most of the ones I really like I don't use, they aren't 'mass' enough to appeal to our market. But anyhow, here's one I like from today:

"My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose." Bette Davis

Stupid Girl Toys

2009-10-20T21:28:00.005-04:00

I think the pictures will speak for themselves. Christmas is coming, be sure to buy your daughters, neices, sisters and friends things that are empowering...

You too can learn to get down on your knees to do the washing!

So Chic Salon Hair Colouring Kit!

You know, I get that little girls like to imitate their mothers, so cooking stuff and household chores stuff is understandable on some level. Why does it always have to be pink? Have you looked at the 'girls' section of the Toys R Us website recently? HORRIBLE. You would think Barbie owned everything. On that....does anyone else remember a time when Barbie wore colours other than pink?

Dirty Thirty

2009-10-10T12:03:00.002-04:00

It's my thirtieth birthday this weekend. I am quite honestly shocked and horrified this milestone is a reality. It isn't that getting older is a bad thing, per se, it's mostly that I just can't believe it has happened so quickly.

At a recent family event I turned the all-too-common line of questioning about when I'm getting knocked up and married around on a cousin of my partner's. I hate myself for doing it (because I hate when it is done to me) but desperate times call for desperate measures. There is only so much "do it while you still have energy" one woman can take. Anyhow, she replied to me, that she was thinking she'd be ready around 30. I then asked how old she was. 24. Ah, I remember being 24 and thinking I'd be ready by the time I was thirty too. What one doesn't realize at that tender age is how quickly thirty will arrive. I think the past five years of my life have whizzed by more quickly than any other era in my life.

This year has felt like a series of lessons reminding me how quick, dirty and short life can be.

Heading out on a celebratory road trip this weekend. One stop will be the rock and roll hall of fame in Cleveland. In honour of this and in an effort to get fully riled up and ready to party, here are some little musical ditties for your enjoyment.

Chelsea Handler

2009-10-08T21:25:00.002-04:00

I've been "reading" audio books on the way to work recently, and the experience of commuting has so significantly improved, I often don't even really notice the drive anymore. I've done some somewhat serious books, and intend to tackle some classics I'd otherwise never get through (War and Peace comes to mind) but for the past weeks I've been listening to two books by comedian Chelsea Handler, who you might know from her late night talk show Chelsea Lately. Incidentally, Chelsea Lately is currently the only late night talk show with a female host and Chelsea Handler is only the second to carry her own (the first was Joan Rivers). You also might remember her on that long ago hidden camera show called Girls Behaving Badly.

There are two books - I've completed Are You There Vodka? It's me, Chelsea and am just about to complete My Horizontal Life - A Collection of One Night Stands. As one review on Amazon states, "Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds."

Both are hilarious. A lot of times when you read a review of something they say "laugh out loud funny", but when does one really lol? Not often. But with these two books, I have literally been laughing out loud, cruising at 110 clicks on the 407.

I feel as if Chelsea is my long lost twin sister. I love my real sister to death, but we are very different people. Chelsea, on the other hand, is so similar to me, that lately I've been finding myself talking and internally I'm thinking, "this is something Chelsea would say." It is as if she is speaking through me. As if I am some sort of Chelsea Handler clairvoyant. That is a gross compliment to my horrible-at-times sense of humour - I love a groaner, but I do feel that listening to her books is helping to increase my feelings of normalcy in the world. I have a kindred spirit, and her name, is Chelsea Handler.

A lot of her interviews from Chelsea Lately are on You Tube. They are fantastic, generally. She asks whatever she wants. If you feel like wasting an hour or two, pop over there.

Here's a video of her doing stand up. She's my new favourite.

Polanski

2009-09-29T18:38:00.002-04:00

This week on facebook I've been having little discussions about the movement to "Free Roman Polanski". I feel like I want to scream each time I read someone's opinion that he should be freed. I'm sure all of you know the scenario, but in the interest of this opinion piece making a lick of sense, here's the dilly:

In 1977, Polanski, then aged 44, became embroiled in a scandal involving 13-year-old Samantha Gailey. It ultimately led to Polanski's guilty plea to the charge of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor. According to Gailey, Polanski asked her mother if he could photograph her for the French edition of Vogue, which Polanski had been invited to guest-edit. Her mother allowed a private photo shoot. According to Gaily in a 2003 interview, "Everything was going fine; then he asked me to change, well, in front of him." She added, "It didn't feel right, and I didn't want to go back to the second shoot. Gaily later agreed to a second session, which took place on March 10, 1977 at the Mulholland area home of actor Jack Nicholson in Los Angeles. "We did photos with me drinking champagne," Gaily says. "Toward the end it got a little scary, and I realized he had other intentions and I knew I was not where I should be. I just didn't quite know how to get myself out of there." She recalled in a 2003 interview that she began to feel uncomfortable after he asked her to lie down on a bed, and how she attempted to resist. "I said, 'No, no. I don't want to go in there. No, I don't want to do this. No!', and then I didn't know what else to do," she stated, adding: "We were alone and I didn’t know what else would happen if I made a scene. So I was just scared, and after giving some resistance, I figured well, I guess I’ll get to come home after this". The victim testified that Polanski gave her a combination of champagne and quaalude sedatives, and "despite her protests, he performed oral sex, intercourse and sodomy on her".

Polanski was initially charged with rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance (methaqualone) to a minor. These charges were dismissed under the terms of his plea bargain, and he pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of engaging in unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor. Under the terms of the plea agreement, the court ordered Polanski to report to a state prison for a 90-day psychiatric evaluation, but granted a stay of ninety days to allow him to complete his current project. Under the terms set by the court, he was permitted to travel abroad. Polanski returned to California and reported to Chino State Prison for the evaluation period, and was released after 42 days. All parties expected Polanski to get only probation at the subsequent sentencing hearing, but after an alleged conversation with LA Deputy District Attorney David Wells, the judge "suggested to Polanski's attorneys that he would send the director to prison and order him deported". In response to the threat of imprisonment — "court sources said the film director, imprisoned in Auschwitz by the Nazis during World War II, was repelled by the thought of possibly serving more time behind bars" — Polanski fled the United States.

So that's the basics of this story. Some say the details are "murky", but I think those details are pretty clear. I'm not sure what could be considered murky. Some suggest the plea bargain was faulty. If so, he should return to the country and appeal. Simple as that.

Why I am so angered by the "Free Polanski" movement is that I simply can't understand why he deserves freedom. Any way that you look at this case, Polanski is still a rapist. I've heard insane things in the media, "...it wasn't rape-rape," from Whoopi on the View comes to mind. I'm not sure exactly what "rape rape" is, but I'm pretty sure that drugging and boozing up a 13 year old - regardless of how mature she is, and then forcing yourself up in her is plain old rape. Even if she wanted it, and begged for it, because she was 13 and could not give consent, it is still rape. Polanski knew she was a child - after all, he had to convince her mother to allow her to model, so it is clear he knew she was a minor. Furthermore, he was photographing this known minor in the nude. But people seem to conveniently forget that part.

There seems to be an argument that because this was a "small" thing that he did, that he has already paid his dues for it. How is serving 45 days in psychiatric evaluation, then fleeing the country to go home to where you are comfortably allowed to travel and work for 30 years punishment? That is not punishment. That is running from punishment.

Polanski entered a plea of guilty. When you enter a plea of guilty you should accept the consequences of your actions, your punishment. If Polanski was innocent of the act, would he not have fought for his freedom in court? Rape is incredibly difficult to prove, so the victim in this case obviously had provided ample proof to the courts. This was even more true in the seventies than it is now. Polanski knew he was screwed, that is why he bargained.

The victim actually sued privately and won. She's gotten her financial settlement. She says she would like the case dropped, because she has moved on. That is all fine and good and I can understand that this is difficult for her. I have experience with why women don't want to go through the courts.

But she doesn't have to - she is not required to testify again because the plea has been entered. It is only sentencing that is outstanding. Furthermore, it is not the victim who is laying this charge, it is the state. There is a reason for this. Think of your average domestic abuse scenario. Does the wife have the ability after abuse and the clarity to know her abuser will likely attack again? Or will she likely make excuses for her abuser, to whom she is emotionally attached? If she is a victim of escalating violence, she can't be expected to think of this person with the neutrality the courts can. That is why they step in.

Now think of a very young woman who is brutally raped by a powerful celebrity. Imagine the scrutiny she would endure if leading this case. She might be tempted to drop it due to public pressure or hatred. The public notoriously not only supports but forgives violent celebrities (see Dre, Dr., Spector, Phil, Brown, James, Knievil, Evil, etc) and blames the victims. The courts must be left in charge so that justice for the victim - willing to participate or not - can be served. The purpose of this is that the justice system protects victims when no one else will. Regardless of if they can afford it. Regardless of how powerful the attacker is.

Some believe that Polanski is being treated unfairly - that because he is an artist we should allow him to do his life's work and not be forced to be responsible for his actions. I can't disagree more. There is no reason that any celebrity, no matter their stature, should be treated in a special or unique way. Some say he was 'framed' because he was arrested in Switzerland. Um, no, that's the law. Perhaps he should have studied that country's agreements with the US a little more closely before he travelled there if he is so hell bent on avoiding sentencing.

Some would say 45 days is enough. No, 45 days is NOT enough punishment for anally raping a 13 year old. Sorry to be graphic, but that's what happened. Some say the judge was an idiot. So he might have been. Well, he's dead. So that's a non issue, isn't it? A new judge can review the case and decide the sentence. It could be community service. It could be a slap on the wrist. The judge being an idiot is not the victim's fault, nor the proscecution's.

Let us not say that he should be forgiven because it has been thirty years.

If he had murdered a man 30 years ago, would we say he should be forgiven for that? What about vehicular manslaughter, he ran over three small children? Or what if he beat a woman to within an inch of her life? Should those things be considered forgivable after thirty years?

If one feels that this crime should be forgiven after thirty years, I am left asking, why is raping a woman something that is so forgivable? Is it because there is the presumtion that somehow the victim is "asking for it", willing or wanted it? Is it because there is a dominant thought that somehow rape is actually sex? I have continually compared this crime to violence - domestic abuse for one, because rape is not sex. Rape is a violent and brutal act. The fact that the media is reporting this as a 'sex crime ' suggests that the media would rather portray this as a man having consensual sex with a child (which is impossible) than portray it for what it is: a violent crime.

I could really rant on for days. I'm sorry if this is long winded and boring and you are all "too long, didn't read" but I can't believe celebrities are coming out in droves to say the man should be freed. I can't believe I see people - lots and lots of people supporting him.

I'm ashamed of them.

Read some grand jury testimony at The Smoking Gun.
Read a comprehensive list of reasons people are saying he should be freed and the correct rebuttals here.
Read Feministing's round up of articles on the topic.

Taco Party

2009-09-26T13:26:00.003-04:00

Michael Ian Black makes me laugh, do you read his blog? It cracks my ass up every time.

Since I have no idea where I should know Michael Ian Black from, anything I tell you will be just from researching right now. If you care, you can figure that out. All I know is that his blog is hilarious, and he has a book out right now with essays from the blog. Not sure if I like reading them better or his performance better (I'm leaning towards reading them) but here he is doing a reading of one of the essays for Funny or Die:

Elegant Readings With Michael Ian Black: TACO PARTY - watch more funny videos

"Maybe you like Olives on your tacos. Guess what fuckwad? I will have olives!"

Bitch vs. Confident

2009-09-24T21:24:00.003-04:00

A couple of things lately have brought this topic to mind.

Firstly, we've got Serena Williams "freaking out" at a judge at the US Tennis Open:

I'd like to contrast this "freak out" with your average, run-of-the-mill John McEnroe freak outs:

Now, how exactly did Serena deserve to lose the match and be forced to apologize publicly, while McEnroe is encouraged by the crowd and his sponsors, over time this behavior becoming his "signature"?

Next we've got Vogue Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour, branded as an Ice Queen Bitch. Is she really though? Or is she the Editor-in-Chief because she is decisive, demanding and dare I say it, masculine in her way of operating her office?

According to Salon, "she is, by all accounts, a tough, demanding boss, a person who expects nothing short of excellence from herself and others." This behavior, this expectation of work ethic and the demand for excellence is something typical and expected of male leaders, but less commonly expected or accepted with female leaders. According to Anna herself, "[she is] very decisive and [tries] to give very clear direction to the people [she is] working with," which seems completely reasonable. (Anna has been in the media a lot lately because she is promoting a documentary about the production of the September issue of Vogue.)

When I say her behavior is 'masculine', I mean to say that she is not coddling her staff like children. She is not crying as she tells you what you did was wrong because she feels so guilty about mentioning it. I mean to say it seems that she is in control and makes no bones about it. You do not doubt her leadership at any time. It sounds as if working for Anna is like working for your typical male boss. It seems she is calm and consistent and demanding. Annoyingly masculine traits really. Honestly, sometimes it would be nice to see a male boss with some self-doubt.

Unfortunately I believe that women have obstacles in the way of their success that are their own fault. Yes, sexism and male dominance keep us out of high levels of corporate and political structures. Yes, the structure of society is not our fault per se, but there are things we definitely do to ourselves as a gender. At times we are our own harshest critics, and each others worst enemy.

Ladies are raised to be just that, ladies; people who don't say impolite things, are kind and generous and compassionate with people they are close to. It is only the 'tom boy' who is not expected to be that way - and tom boys are expected to "grow out of it" and become ladies eventually. Being kind and polite and compassionate - all good things in the right context, but are these things standing in the way of our ability to express how we really feel? Men are not encouraged to express their feelings publicly - but when they do, no one doubts the authenticity. When women do the same, the are branded as 'being emotional' - in fact we brand ourselves that way. Why do women so often feel that what they think or want is somehow less important than anyone else?

I doubt very much that Wintour got to her level of success by worrying about what people thought of her decisions and instructions. I doubt Serena got to her level of success by being polite and popular and ladylike. Does this mean these women are any less women, any less nurturing or compassionate? Absolutely not! These women have apparently found a way to balance who they are in life with who they should be in the workplace. They know the context in which to be polite, and the context in which to get shit done.

Professionalism. Confidence. Somehow these qualities are not encouraged in women. We're told to be confident, to have good self esteem, but are we encouraged when we show signs of it? Instead we are actually taught that it is somehow rude to express our opinion if it differs with someone else's, and that we should be nice to everyone. Worse still, women are the great at punishing each other for confident behavior. We are quick to dismiss a woman who is confident as a bitch, a whore, a meanie. In the office if you are professional, women call you the ice princess (seen it!). If you are confident in your opinions, people say you are a know-it-all (been there!).

Why can't we respect other women for their strength and confidence meanwhile applauding them for their ability to leave their personal lives and nurturing side at home?

I raise these questions with little in the way of answers other than to suggest that holding yourself back in the workplace in any way in order to protect the feelings of someone else is silly and you should stop that right now. Life and work are different things and not agreeing is ok - it isn't personal, it is professional. Being tough and decisive might not make you popular with other women, but it will make you feel better about yourself. Because being confident is a rolling train, once you get on it gets easier to do.

The Dalai Lama is a Feminist

2009-09-24T21:21:00.000-04:00

"During his closing remarks at the International Freedom Award ceremony in the Peabody Grand Ballroom today, His Holiness the Dalai Lama called upon women to help create a more compassionate world.

“I call myself a feminist,” said the Dalai Lama. “Isn’t that what you call someone who fights for women’s rights?”

The audience erupted in laughter and applause. The Dalai Lama went to on say that women are more prone to compassion, since they have the responsibility of bearing children."

source

F

2009-09-18T20:24:00.001-04:00

I saw this tee on a guy crossing the street recently. I love it on many, many levels.

The Good Body - review

2009-09-14T12:08:00.007-04:00

Over the weekend I did blissfully next to nothing, other than sleeping and eating. It was grand. I also read a play called "The Good Body" by Eve Ensler, who you may have heard of because she wrote a little something called "The Vagina Monologues". (Which is, in my opinion, fully worthy of all the hype it recieves. If you have not read or seen it, you should.)

The play found a way to make me feel good about myself, if only in knowing that even Eve Ensler, famous feminist playwrite and activist, also has body image issues she just can't shake.

Unfortunately, I was hoping for something a little more powerful.

She explores the issue by travelling the world, and writing monologues as everyone from Helen Gurley Brown to an African villager.

Ensler suggests that most women in the world are more obsessed with their often distorted perception of one small part of their body than they are with any other aspect of their lives. For that matter, they are more fixated on that one body part than they are on world hunger, peace, or homelessness. They are more fixated on that one body part than they are on acheiving health, happiness or success. If they could have one wish, regardless of age, nationality, race, sex, economic class or social standing, it is to lose weight.

We fixate on our stomaches, our boobs, our legs, our noses. If we choose to mutilate ourselves and "fix" this perfectly functional body part to make it more how we'd imagine we'd like it to be, we then fixate on a new part of our bodies to dislike. We inundate ourselves with images of "good" bodies, and then punish ourselves for not looking like that, even though our concious minds are fully aware that those images are faked and 'shopped to look the way they do. Even the most radical feminist of us self-punishes this way. No wonder we aren't leading corporations and political parties as often as we should. We're too busy dieting.

In the preface Eve writes, "...when one out of three women in the world will be beaten or raped in her lifetime, why write a play about my stomach?" Eve then answers herself, "...because my stomach is one thing I feel I have control over, or maybe because I have hoped that my stomach is something I could get control over."

Control. Women are obsessed with control. Maybe it is because we have felt out of control for so many generations. A lack of choice makes you feel controlled. We are obsessed with controling our food. Our bodies. Eating disorders are the worst side of this, extreme dieting the middle of the road, diet soda the everyday. It is distorted that we believe we are in control by doing this. Then we wish for greater self-control. More discipline. If only.

We've been told we're equals, but perhaps because this isn't really true, and we don't have enough control over any other aspect of our lives, we obsess over the wrong things - things that don't need controlling. Our bodies are fine as they were made.

The play will help you to feel idiotic for wasting any of your precious mental resources on such a dalliance. It does it as well as the Beauty Myth, which is similar in message, though stronger in delivery.

It helps to comisserate with other women, to feel a part of something, to relate. Where the play falls flat is in the stereotypes - the "skinny bitch" makes a few to many appearances while the negative self talk gets tiring and a bit depressing. The author never resolves this and never finds a way out; "...here's what I think I've learned so far: In order to be good, I've got to be a smiling psychopath, deprived of pretzels, deeply involved with a Nazi trainer, fortunately numb from the botulinism, white vanilla fat sucked out with rods, and my pussy tightened."

Certainly cathartic, the play would be enjoyable to see in order to have the feelings of a shared experience. Standing alone, it is missing any reasonable solutions for overcoming the very problems it highlights.

I Am Not Advocating Violence, Just Great Lingerie.

2009-09-13T21:17:00.001-04:00

Illustrator of the Month - September

2009-09-09T15:20:00.009-04:00

This month's featured illustrator has her own very inspired and inspiring blog right here. It's called A Print A Day and the artist, Yasmine Surovec posts bunches of free downloadable prints all the time...well, almost daily as the title would suggest. It also contains all sorts of other inspiring goodies so it is worth checking out regularily. A Print A Day encourages the use of the posted free images in craft projects and sometimes even posts the results of reader's efforts! Good times.

A prolific artist who can produce a pile of great work, Surovec states that she started the blog as a way to challenge herself creatively by creating a surface print every day. Yasmine is an apparel and textile designer based in the San Francisco Bay area, as well as being the publisher, editor, designer, writer and illustrator of Parasol Magazine. She has 10+ years in the design, illustration, advertising & marketing industries. Parasol is a free, downloadable pdf magazine dedicated to promoting design + art + creative lifestyles and small business.

Lately she's been interested in Lace:

(as always, please click these lovelies to see in full size and detail)

Ms. Piggy was always my favourite

2009-09-05T17:26:00.001-04:00

Go Girl

2009-09-05T17:14:00.002-04:00

Maybe if more women had these Women's washrooms would not be so disgusting.

Today's "I Want to Smash Something" Moment

2009-09-03T10:04:00.002-04:00

Courtesy of parentdish.com:

"Style." "Interesting." "Music." "Flash." "Up and Down." "Go Round and Round."

Celebration

2009-09-01T20:16:00.002-04:00

I have written about Madonna here before so you know that I am a fan of what MTV has coined the "Dark Era" - "...a period that runs roughly from the release of The Immaculate Collection in 1990 to her disastrous appearance on "Late Night With David Letterman" in 1994. This was when she tackled the politics of sexuality head-on — whether it be with the "Justify My Love" video, or the "Sex" book, or the Erotica album — and got down and dirty (the "Deeper and Deeper" video, the "Body of Evidence" movie) and basically wasn't afraid of offending anyone ever."

I have to say I am happily amused by the new video for Celebration, directed by longtime Madonna collaborator Jonas Åkerlund. He also directed Madge's Music (which features a cameo by Ali G) as well as a tonne of other smutty, fun videos including Prodigy's Smack My Bitch Up (which was banned from MTV) and Lady Gaga's Paparazzi (which is worth a watch even if you hate the song). The video does not disappoint - crotch flashing, pussy touching, little Lola busting a serious move, even Madonna and her tweener-maybe-he's-gay-hilariously-named -boytoy Jesus getting steamy. A throwback if you will, to a racier time in her career. And the song is a four-on-the-floor club banger produced by Dj Paul Oakenfold, so you know it will be fun to shake your ass to.

To me it is easily the most exciting video Madge has released since the Dark Era.

PS/I really want those boots.

This Woman's Work

2009-08-31T14:01:00.002-04:00

During my lunch break today I was reading this article in the Metro and it got me thinking about why it is that women are stuck doing so much more work than men.

"Reports from Statistics Canada show that while men are doing more household chores and women are doing more paid work, men still spend only 1.4 hours per day on housework compared to the 2.4 hours on average done by women.The result is that while women have continued to break down barriers in the workplace, they still face the challenge of having to do more work at home than men as well as a double-standard of being seen as innately overstretched by their responsibilities."

The article goes on to cite the controversy surrounding MPP Lisa MacLeod’s testimony in a recent court case as an example of how society views the multi-tasking woman. Society (and Ontario Superior Court Justice Douglas Cunningham) apparently view a busy mother, employee and woman as incapable of "doing it all" properly. But that is flawed logic, since apparently we are already doing it all, and quite successfully. After all:

Women in the U.S. spend more than $3.3 trillion annually (demonstrating amazing levels of purchasing power)
Women business owners employ 35% more people than all Fortune 500 companies combined
95% of family financial decisions are made by women
Women in business will invest $44.5 billion in high tech products this year
65% of women in senior management positions have children
(Source: Women and Diversity, WOW Facts 2001)

So here we are, highly functioning members of society and the workplace. Many of us have good educations, work hard outside the home, raise children, do the housework and also manage the household finances. Why aren't men raising the bar on their lives? Why don't they want to do more as a gender? How come men have not adjusted to this new reality? Don't they want more responsibility?

I got to thinking that the answer was pretty simple. If for hundreds of years your role in society was to make money, and come home to be taken care of, would you want that to change? It sounds pretty good, to be honest. I'll take being the breadwinner if I can have a hot housewife.

Why would you, if in that position, be in any rush to take on more of the household responsibilities? What women have taken on is freedom - freedom to earn, both cash and respect. Freedom to control their lives and world to an extent never experienced before. It is no wonder we are thrilled to adapt to this new world full of opportunity.

To ask a man who has had this wonderful freedom in his life to change is a difficult request. Ask him to take on more cleaning, more babysitting, more planning, and so on. It is really no wonder they resist giving up the freedoms they once had to take on more life responsibility. It is really no wonder a woman finds herself nagging her husband to "do his share".

Who wants to do the dirty work?

To be honest, if I could work outside of the home and make enough money to go it alone, I would. If I could have a house-wife or husband (or hired help) that would be swell; someone to do the bulk of raising my kids for me, cooking for me and cleaning for me would be more than welcomed.

Is it any wonder,"...men are quite supportive of women in the workforce but they generally have not, with the same level of tenacity, said "I want to be a part of the home life."?

A woman's work is fucking hard. And does not include 1 hour lunches at Baton Rouge.

I Want I Want

2009-08-27T10:32:00.004-04:00

These are awesome.

Designed by Central Saint Martins (no, you can't afford to go there) educated Patrick Morris, these SkyPlanters are deceptively simple. Basically, they allow you to plant a common houseplant or orchid upside down. But the design ingenuity does not stop there. The SkyPlanter actually uses a ground-breaking internal reservoir system that feeds water directly to the roots without leaks or evaporation, using up to 90% less water than ordinary pots. The system locks in the soil so there’s no mess, and you only have to water your plant once or twice a month.

And they look fucking cool.

Happy Women's Equality Day

2009-08-26T12:28:00.002-04:00

On August 26th, 1920, the 19th amendment to the United States constitution went into effect. The amendment prevents any US government level from denying the right to vote to any citzen based on gender.

As a result, in 1971 Women's Equality Day was founded to celebrate this important step towards women being whole persons in American society. Today it is encouraged that we honour this day but continuing to work towards equality in the workplace and it is celebrated by many public institutions.

This morning on the way to work I was listening to the radio and they were talking about this important moment in history. The host managed segue Women's Equality Day to Women's Day in the Courtyard, a marketing initiative posing as a "ladies day" including free massages, mani/pedis, hair and makeup and of course "free samples", which are sure to be a selection of such women-targeted products as air fresheners, face cream and diet drinks. I feel sick.

From what I can read online, this "Women's Day" organization is not really saying it has anything at all to do with Women's Equality Day. I'm not sure if it was a part of the marketing plan to land it on the same day, though I can't help but think it surely landed on the press release, which would explain why the idiotic radio host would correlate the two.

Dear PR Person who has created this 'link': Equality has nothing to do with hair and makeup and diet drinks. Stop talking about it like it does. Thanks.

Target Women: You're Old

2009-08-18T21:49:00.002-04:00

I'm pretty sure I've posted some Target Women spots in the past. Unfortunately for you, I'm too old to remember. Or care to check.

Ok, not really, I'm only turning 30 this year but it is starting to worry me. If it isn't the constant baby-making pressure or the, "So, when will he pop the question?" inquiries (both of which are equal doses of irritating and insulting) it is the general reaction of people when you tell them your age. Why do people feel the need to insist you look younger than your age?

I do it too. I tell people, "Oh, I never would have guessed that," but really, of course I wouldn't have because that would be being honest and we all know honesty is not a socially acceptable trait.

But I digress.
Besides, even if I've posted one before, this is new and fantastic and if you haven't checked out the whole series, you should.

This Day in Inappropriate Product Branding

2009-08-13T19:08:00.001-04:00

Amanda Blank...Haven't been excited about an album like this for years

2009-08-11T19:56:00.007-04:00

I'm so excited to hear the new Amanda Blank album. I first got to know Blank when she appeared on the Spank Rock album Bangers & Cash, which I previously reviewed on this blog. She rules.

In writing this blog I have learned Blank appeared on an official remix for Britney Spears' "Gimme More" by Eli Escobar and Doug Grayson, which I will now have to obsessively track down. (EDIT: SEE BELOW) Weird, but good discovery. In related news, my other favourite music of late is Miike Snow, 2/3 of which is Bloodshy & Avant, who produced, most famously, Toxic, and a number of Britney's best and most interesting songs, like Freakshow (one of only 2 Spears-penned tracks from the awesome Blackout album) and the rumoured next single from Circus Unusual You.( Both of which sound pretty terrible over computer speakers - lately I've been pretty obsessed with high production value and suffice it to say nothing with good production sounds remotely correct on computer speakers.)

Funny.

Here is the newly released video for the Amanda Blank lead single: Might like you better.

URGENT UPDATE #2!!!!
Bloodshy and Avant are currently in the studio with Spank Rock!!!! DYING!!!

Oh My Word. Three posts in one day lookie at me

2009-08-09T17:39:00.002-04:00

Can't resist posting this. Recently a friend of mine slipped me a copy of the new Maxwell cd proclaiming "I can't believe the music that I'm listening to these days, but the new Maxwell record is fantastic". Well, just because you generally like indie rock or obscure art rock, that shouldn't mean that you don't like some good old r&b, especially if it is as well-crafted as this record is. Horn section love. Real musician love. It is so warm and gooey sounding you'd think you were listening to an album from the 60's playing on vinyl. I guess it has been 8 years since Maxwell released a record, and it seems it was well worth the wait.

I know one thing for sure. The sex scene in this video should be longer.

Illustrator of the Month - August

2009-08-09T17:03:00.009-04:00

As her blogspot tells us, Samantha Victoria Conover is a Toronto based artist specializing in semi-erotic semi-nudes. Interestingly in her bio she does not anywhere mention her affinity for lingerie that is so prevalent in these illustrations. I sense that this is the main focus for her as she illustrates these semi-nudes, as this is where the bulk of the detail work is focused.

I sense an influence of Egon Schiele (also here and here) though I'm not sure if this intentional or not.

Much of SVCON's strength as an illustrator lies in the unique perspective and personality she lends to this cast of characters. None are identical, none are waifish and none are seemingly passive and dominated. These characters are perhaps lethargic but more often joyful, as they appear to be comfortable in their beauty and body, which is a surprisingly unusual characteristic in many erotic images.

Rock and Roll Music

2009-08-09T16:58:00.003-04:00

ProCon's video makes me happy. It is because I know so many of the lovely ladies who make an appearance including the one and only SVCON. Also, my favourite bra has a starring role. Plus it rocks. You can find more out about ProCon on their myspace.

Going Crazy with my new HTML Writing Ability

2009-08-01T15:26:00.002-04:00

Take that Photosuckit!

Giving Flickr A Try

2009-08-01T14:54:00.005-04:00

a-evi-hegre-nudes-plastic-bubble, originally uploaded by sexsocietyscribblesandscenes.

Well, Photobucket hates my erotic art. So, I'm going to try out Flickr. Here's my first test post using Flickr's blogging to blogger tool, or whatever they call it. I'm not overly pleased that I have to blog in Flickr to make it work, and that it seems I can only post one image at a time. But it will let me post images like this from Norwegian erotic photographer Petter Hegre, so maybe it will work in a pinch. Testing Testing, 123.

Still looking for suggestions on this other than "move your whole blog to Wordpress" and "pay for this such and such account", both of which I don't think are going to happen.

Additional test: if I write my own html (which I avoid doing like the plague, because apparently on some level I hate doing it so much that I refuse to memorize such simple things) will it let me post? Test:

huh. well fancy that. That's another Petter Hegre added to this post. Sigh. I guess I am going to learn this simple html coding. Why must I resist these simple tasks? Resistance is futile! Since I'm in here again, here is the link to Hegre's wiki. And while you are at it, why don't you visit his own website, which contains all sorts of erotic excitement.

Madonna

2009-08-01T13:07:00.006-04:00

I'm sad that Madonna is destroying her face with plastic surgery. I really am. Because though I came late to the Madonna party, I really love her. I thought she'd be one of those 'fuck the patriarchy I'm going to get old and you are going to like it" sorts, but apparently not:

It is unfortunate because I really felt like Madonna was going to be the last one to go all crazy and down this road. She gave us some pretty important feminist fuck-you moments, but I guess even those that we see as the strongest just might be the weakest of all.

Anyhow thinking about all of it took me down memory lane.

This is probably my favourite Madonna video (but not the song, really). It features Christopher Walken! Awesomeness.

The look, the hair, the feeling. It is perfect. It makes a mediocre song amazing.

What is my favourite you ask? It's obvious, isn't it? I love the video for Erotica, but Human Nature is the clear winner. The visual look is completely stolen from Mapplethorpe, (and here - you know I really gotta work out this erotic photo ban thing...today, promise)and that is part of the beauty.

Food Disconnect

2009-07-28T21:28:00.002-04:00

I've been a fan of food for many years. I know that sounds dumb, because, well, I've been eating food for over thirty years now but what I mean to say is that I am a foodie. I'm not keen on the word foodie, but I like food a lot. I like cooking it, thinking about it, eating it, growing it and so on. I actually really enjoy the so-called 'chore' of grocery shopping.

I am not a picky eater and believe if there is a food you do not like that you should force yourself to eat it until you do like it. With some notable exceptions of course. No need to force yourself to like deep fried pork fat. Work on spinach first. I did, and now I love it. It was worth the suffering of the first couple of meals to get to this place. Just think, your 10 year old self didn't like beer either. But you made yourself get over that, didn't you?

It was the first of many food experiments. I'm a solid raw red onion lover now, and I'm totally over my feelings towards dark rye breads. I have never uttered the phrase "I can't eat that because...." and I worry about how I will feel doing it. I don't like being picky or fussy.

I'm thinking about it because I've discovered I am lactose intolerant. Yes, discovered. For the first time. I found out after trying this elimination diet - not one designed to lose weight - but one designed to help me figure out what foods were making me feel ill. For a while I was convinced it was red meat. Then I realized, my worst fears were true. It was dairy.

I love cheese. Cheese is potentially one of the greatest human inventions. It tastes good on everything and really makes the inedible edible. It was with great sadness that I accepted the reality that I might not be able to eat much cheese anymore. I know, I know, there are pills for this. But they are expensive. And since I'm also the sort that is cheap, that's a factor. I also have a thing about taking medications when it is unnecessary. I figure, if I can eat less cheese, and eat it carefully following much research into what the safe kinds are, then I can do without those pills. But after today's grocery trip, I'm not so sure.

Modified Milk Ingredients were everywhere. In things I did not expect to see them in. I knew about the ingredient - I had learned that lactose is lower in 'real' cheese and dairy products, ones that are fermented and actually processed the correct way (processing is not always evil, talk to brie if you want to know why.) I was searching for real ingredients on my favourite dairy products which were deemed low lactose in the case that they were 'traditionally' produced. I was searching for MMIs to know what to avoid. Fake cheese pizza. Fake creem ice cream.

What I was not aware of was how often they were placed into products that simply did not seem like they should contain dairy. Bread, ok, maybe bread is made with milk. An interesting reminder. But what about granola bars? When you make them from scratch, is there milk in them?

I think someday I am going to write my first book and it will be about my theories on the danger of the two-tier grocery system. I've been mentally writing it since I first worked in a grocery store at 15. I saw it happen then. Bad food, unhealthy food, is cheap. Good food is expensive. Good food makes you healthier, smarter and feel better. The rich just keep getting richer. The poor keep eating worse food, with more chemicals and additives to keep the food affordable.

A fantastic example is a simple one. A pizza you make at home with quality ingredients such as real dough, real cheese and real veggies (not canned) will run you in the ball park of $15 to make, and that is a conservative estimate. It will be delicious and healthy. A frozen pizza - even the good kind - will run you about $7. So if you are struggling financially, and trying to feed two children, which will you choose? Will you stop to check if the so-called "cheese" really contains milk? What if it actually contains oil, sugar and powdered creem? The average person in this situation - most people really - would never even stop to read the ingredients. Well, now I have to, and I'm quite shocked at the number of products that have the stupid things in them. Shocked and irritated. Here's to hoping they become the new MSG.

Some info on MMIs:

Source

“Modified milk ingredients” is an umbrella term for a variety of milk ingredients such as casein or whey. Milk is the building block for dairy products, such as yogurt, ice cream, butter and cheese. Since milk may undergo changes during the processing of these foods, with some of its components concentrated or removed, it cannot be called milk on the label, therefore the term “modified milk ingredients” is used.

Under current law, only a limited amount of fluid milk and cream can be imported tariff free
into Canada. "Modified milk ingredients" are a different story. That name can mean
just about any product that was initially part of milk, especially including the following:
• skim milk powder
• milk protein concentrates
• milk protein isolates
• casein
• caseinates
• whey protein concentrates

It's possible to make products such as cheese and ice cream using only modified milk ingredients and no fluid milk or cream at all. If you think ice cream is necessarily made from cream, or even milk, you’d be wrong. Indeed some ice cream is made from those ingredients, but most is not. Most commercial ice cream on the market today is composed primarily of “modified milk
ingredients,” which can mean any of a number of different factory goops that are
derived from milk. If you’re lucky, the modified milk ingredient in your ice cream is simply powdered milk.

More likely it’s casein (factory-extracted milk proteins), or whey proteins, or even a butter oil compound. The butter-oil compound, according to a recent CBC Marketplacereport, is 49% butter-oil and 51% sugar.

Modified milk ingredients, which are usually made from by-products of other dairy product manufacturing, are cheaper.

The butter-oil compound (which you will never see listed as such on an ingredients list) is particularly cheaper because it contains 51% sugar; since it is more non-dairy than dairy, it can be imported without having to pay any of the tariffs that are applied to real dairy products. In other words, it is cheaper to use imported butter oil compound than to use fresh milk from the dairy farm just down the road. Most of the butter-oil compound used in Canadian-made ice cream comes from the U.K. or New Zealand.

This is a travesty. In a time where we are making more of an effort to eat and shop locally, this kind of local “Canadian” shopping carries a huge carbon footprint from the international shipping of the ingredients in these dairy products. Secondly, you are definitely not consuming a quality product, or even a real food, because ice creams require the addition of factory goop in order to make it resemble the texture of real ice cream.

Check the labels. Ice cream composed primarily of “modified milk ingredients” is also full of various gums (guar, cellulose, carrageenan, etc.) which are used to stabilize the product and to give it a creamy feel. This applies to other kinds of dairy as well, such as some cheaper brands of cheese. (NOTE: In my shopping experience today, the price has little to do with the ingredients. In fact, the cheapest cheese I could buy contained real ingredients while the national brand contained MMIs. Read carefully.)

Listening, Local Talent

2009-07-23T21:06:00.002-04:00

I first heard of Trish on the local college radio station. They played a few singles one morning on my drive to work. Needless to say, my day ruled, I felt hot, and I needed to find out who this Trish was.

Here's her first video.

Love the sexy-yet-terrifying look she's working in this video. Love the s&m imagery. Love the double meaning, love the grinding electro beat. Love it.

Thongs for Children

2009-07-21T19:48:00.003-04:00

As you may or may not know, I also have a blogging gig over at SFYS that is a professional blog, a marketing blog. Today I blogged about the history of thong underwear. Really, having a paid job that allows me to write about lingerie is a dream - but I'm sad that it takes away from this blog. I do have an actual life outside of the internet. In any case blogging about lingerie is pretty sweet. The reason I mention it is because the topic of thongs for pre-teens came up during my research. I glazed over it in my post - but I'd like to talk about it a bit more here.

Personally, I don't think a thong is appropriate for an 9 year old. I guess this is something that has happened to me with age. I was an early bloomer (by which I mean EARLY) and at 9 years old would have probably quite enjoyed being allowed to wear one as a means of exploring my early sexuality. But somehow in the past twenty or so years I have become quite removed from that self (thankfully, I suppose) and now have perspective on how young a 9 year old - or 13 year old for that matter - actually is.

I am all for freedom of expression and freedom of sexuality and therefore, freedom of sexual expression. I argue in favour of allowing Miley Cyrus to model in a bedsheet at 15, but I can assure you no daughter of mine will be wearing a thong at 9.

I am reminded of a recent mall visit where I unfortunately found myself in LaSenza Girl. At LaSenza Girl you can buy panties with "Diva Princess" emblazoned on the ass. These underwear are targeted to pre-teens. They made me upset. Not only because they imply you will might show off your underwear at that age, but also because you are somehow intended to be proud of being a little bitch. I guess that 9 year olds don't quite get this. But shouldn't their mothers?

So what is it that is so wrong with tweener thongs and Diva Princess undies that I find it offensive?

I have two reasons:
1. Companies that market these products are sure that you will either love or hate them for it. Don't think for one minute that the bigwigs didn't sit down and talk about the decision. Because they did. As a result of selling them, they get a lot of negative press. In the marketing world, no press is bad press, in particular for a clothing company. It is a ploy to get us saying their name - and it works. I've already said one in this post. As a result, they are making it 'normal' for girls of this pre-tween age to wear thongs, and creating an interest. After all, they claim to be 'supplying a demand', but aren't they just creating one? Did you need a thong at that age? Did it even cross your mind?

2. Girls have so much pressure in society to be a certain way, act a certain way and be sexy that they really need their childhood protected. It is not that children as young as 11 don't have a sexuality - they most certainly do - it is that it deserves to be protected along with the rest of their youthful freedoms. Sexuality - healthy sexuality - should develop on a personal level, not a public level. By this I mean that young girls should be allowed to explore their feelings and themselves without the pressure of being sexy for someone else. Certainly not an adult or anyone with adult standards. That important stage of development is what is destroyed by sexual abuse of minors, and without that precious self discovery so many women fall into the trap of being sexy or having sex to seek approval, love and self-esteem.

Outrageousness and generally shocking clothing don't get to me. The types that spout off about how this is part of a natural evolution towards more a more revealing dressing style are missing the point. It is one thing for adults to leave the house in something that only technically is a dress, I'm all for that. At the very least, that is amusing to me. Hey, we all like naked ladies, don't we? And adults have adult freedoms, and can determine what is appropriate. But children should be exempt from this. Just like they should be exempt from bikinis, heels, hair dye and false eyelashes. Children need time to be children before being adults. It's not cute, it's not amusing. It's gross.

So where do you draw the line? I say, if you are too young to purchase and wash your own thong, you are too young to wear it.

Embedding disabled by request.

2009-07-20T19:56:00.002-04:00

Click here for a little Monday pick-me-up.

Illustrator of the Month - July

2009-07-18T16:22:00.003-04:00

Michal Majewski died tragically this week while hiking at a music festival in BC. I suppose that is the best way to go - doing the thing that makes you happy. He was a talented musician, artist and music promoter and most of all, an all-round good guy; someone that everyone loved. He will be sadly missed by many.

I have long admired his illustration style. He was the sort of artist that made you feel jealous that he was more talented than you. He blends text and imagery in way that was uniquely his - you always recognized his style on a poster. While you might struggle to figure out what it was advertising (breaking a cardinal rule of graphic design - readability) it simply doesn't matter. His style was so engaging, you wanted to figure out what the poster was all about. That is the sign of a truly successful design.

See a full selection of his gig posters here.
RIP Michal.

100 Girls and 100 Octopuses

2009-07-08T19:13:00.002-04:00

Special thanks to my dear friend SVCON for sending me this amazingness.

100 Girls and 100 Octopuses, 2005
Acrylic and metallic ink on paper: 98 parts, each 10 x 8 inches, overall 69 x 111 inches

here's the over all painting:

here are some details.

I'm in awe of this, really, fuck, it's amazing.

All 98 are worth a look, so go to the site, and to learn more about Zak Smith, go here.

"In This Economy"

2009-06-30T15:33:00.004-04:00

Are you sick of the Media telling you your life sucks? Tired of bad news bears raining all over your spending parade?

Here's a timely suggestion: take the power back from those alarmist media bitches! I've chosen to take the phrase "In This Economy" which seems to be a hot media talking point and have added it to my vocabulary. Not only does it feel good to say, but you get to make a snarky little sarcastic face at the same time. It's fun!

Par Example:

1: "I really wanted to go see Alice Russell tonight, but the show is $20 in advance, so it will be at least $25 at the door"
2: "That's a little steep, especially In This Economy."

1: "I'd really like to see what these emo teenagers think is punk rock, it seems all they listen to is Akon"
2: "Well, kids can't really afford to research the underground In This Economy."

1: "Do you think that we could start a business collecting the garbage from Toronto's garbage strike privately?"
2: "I'm sure we could, but I'm not that desperate for work, even In This Economy."

Try it out! It just feels good.

Pop Goes the World

2009-06-26T16:04:00.003-04:00

Pop is a Swedish child whose parents are attempting to raise....it...without a gender. Pop's hairstyle changes regularly, Pop's wardrobe consists of both pants and skirts, etc. Pop's parents say that they want "Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mould from the outset,” and that they believe it is "cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead.”

At first when I heard of this news story I was intrigued because I do find it quite interesting in concept. The child is only two - so surely the child will figure out its gender eventually, either through media or other children. Absolutely when the child starts school there will be issues, and I can't help but wonder if the questions and experiences Pop will have in those times will be life- long scars. On the other hand, perhaps Pop will grow up to be a well-adjusted and self-confident adult the likes of which the world has never seen.

However, it seems unlikely to really last much longer. Susan Pinker, a Toronto-based psychologist says, "once children can speak, males tell aggressive stories 87 per cent of the time, while females only 17 per cent." Therefore, at 2, the child is already displaying gender norms. She does go on to say in the article, that later in life there are other differences in aggression and behavior, but I am not convinced these are innate behaviors. I do think the way that boys socialize vs. the way girls socialize has a lot to do with who we are as adults and I'm not sure that that socialization would happen the same without societal norms. But I digress. What Pinker is getting at is that there are gender differences that are born into us via hormones that are part of our development during the second trimester of pregnancy. I would surmise these are also the sort of hormones that would make a child gay or straight or transgendered.

I haven't had a tonne of experience with babies, but lately people can't stop asking me if and when I am going to get pregnant. As a result, there have been many conversations about what I'd 'want' if I were pregnant, and the differences between male and female babies. I am routinely told that girl infants and boy infants are 'so different' and a 'world apart' that I can't help but wonder if Pop's parents are really achieving anything with their approach.

After all, they know the gender. They are changing the diapers. I am sure they are making every effort to avoid the gender stereotypes in their raising of the child, but if they consciously know the child is female, will they really be able to treat it the same way that they would if they knew it was male? The subconscious mind is an amazing beast - and if it can make you dream of people you haven't seen in 25 years (at 30 years old) as if a day has never passed, can it also make you treat your female child with more softness and femininity than you would if you knew deep down the child was male?

It is a well intentioned but odd approach to child-rearing. I think it would be better extended to raising the child with a more normalized gender identity. Giving your child a gender does not immediately scar the child - educating them with a healthy view on society and gender stereotypes, at an appropriate age to do so, would seem like a more normalized approach to the whole thing.

I take, for example, my sister-in-law who is 9, who just last night informed me that "Beauty Pageants are dumb because they only judge you on your looks and that is wrong." She's been taught a thing or two about the world that I had to learn much later in life. She's lucky and I think she'll be one of the strongest women I will know, because she was raised to be the sort of kid that tells off her teacher when she tells the class that "hockey is something boys play" (yes, this also happened, and resulted in suspension, believe it or not.) That right there is a healthy world view on gender. She's into hair, and bugs, and biking, and sports, and singing and dancing and makeup and art and science, because she's been told she can be anything. Telling your son it is ok to do ballet or soccer or art or music or construction or drag performances or science also sets them up to be strong adults with normalized view of who they can be. Gender is not the enemy. Trying to control who your children will become is.

I feel that trying so hard to strip your child of what is naturally present, and then talking to the media about it, (not to mention naming your child Pop) will create a difficult start to life, socialization and school. It is no different than trying to force your little tom boy into a pink princess dress. If you strip your child of both genders, will they fit in anywhere and feel a part of anything? Being different is difficult enough when you are different from 'most' people. Being different from everyone is another story altogether.

While I admire the determination of Pop's parents to change the world, and while I am sure their intentions are pure, I am wondering if they are thinking more about their own experience than that of the child's. I really think that using your children to do anything - change gender roles in society, make money as a child actor, make your partner stay in your life, negotiate divorce settlements, and so forth, is just plain wrong. Children are not lab rats and should not be treated as if they are an experiment. They deserve to feel safe, loved and cared for. I don't doubt Pop feels all these things at 2 years old. But how will Pop feel when Pop discovers it was used to promote and demonstrate the ideals of its parents?

It feels timely to think about this - Michael Jackson has died. Michael, may he rest in peace, is the ultimate example of how you can destroy a human being's soul by forcing them to have an unusual childhood - or none at all. The universal human desire to 'fit in' somewhere, with something, is the force that drives us all. Even those of us who wish to be 'different' and 'unique' wish to fit in with others who are similarly 'unique'. That feeling is the feeling of belonging, of safety, of comfort. Fitting in somewhere makes us feel safe, loved and cared for. I believe it is a basic human right. Michael had his childhood stolen from him and he never felt normal or like he fit in after that. He never felt normal, so he never acted normal. And it eventually destroyed him.

Pop is only 2 - but if this continues, Pop's chance to have a normal childhood is disappearing as well.

Illustrator of the Month - June

2009-06-24T15:31:00.004-04:00

Robert Sarsony is an American painter and illustrator. I've selected just a few images that appealed to me and my retro sensibility - they remind me of those wonderful Rockwell images you'd see in the doctor's office, except smuttier.

You can see many more paintings by Sarsony here, and though they are a slightly different style, the common thread to all of his paintings in my mind is his apparent obsession with legs and limbs which I find fascinating and oddly erotic - and dare I say so - even in his images of children. I won't post any of those because I am sure they are completely innocent of any eroticism and even in saying I thought there might be a hint of it is somewhat scandal-ridden, non? But click that link if you'd like to see more from this prolific artist.

In his figure paintings, Sarsony records quiet, reflective moments that present glimpses of figures unconcerned with the viewing audience; we are admitted to the private world of the subject.

Dancing Shoes are for Dancing

2009-06-20T18:00:00.004-04:00

I've got them on:

But they do not look like any of these. Cage heels are my drool worthy "want" for the summer, but I might pass on them in favour of other needless fashion purchases, such as hot pants and plaid things. What I am wearing are these lovelies:

however, in the red variation, which is much more sexy-siren than hippie-dippie.

And this lovely picture is the inspiration for my outfit tonight:

That amazing shot is from my favourite style blog The Sartorialist , really the reason for this whole post.

Angelina Jolie: A Leader For Feminists. Or Something.

2009-06-08T22:20:00.002-04:00

Ugh. Naomi Wolf, did you really have to write an article about Angelina Jolie for Harper's Bazaar Magazine about why she placed #1 on the ...whatever it is, world's most powerful and rich and insanely popular celebrity list? Is work that scarce?

You, Naomi Wolf, author of life-changing thought-provoking book "The Beauty Myth", taking on pop culture as a "serious topic" to be examined? Wolf calls Jolie "...an "ego ideal" for women — a kind of dream figure that allows women to access, through fantasies of their own, possibilities for their own heightened empowerment and liberation." Is this true for you as well Naomi?

Oh for fucks sake. Is it because she can fly a plane? Because she plays Lara Croft, arguably the most masturbated-to video game heroine ever? Or because she's rich and can do whatever she wants? Or is it simply her beauty that enamors us?

Wolf points out that women not only want to be Jolie, we also want to sleep with her. Yes, even the straight girls pick her first. Well, she's hot. Ok, so that's fair. But where Wolf loses me is in her explanation that Jolie 'has it all' and that's why we admire her. "She makes the claim, with her life and actions, that, indeed, you can get away with it. All of it. Against every Western convention, she has managed to draw together all of these kinds of female liberation and empowerment. And her gestures determinedly transgress social boundaries — boundaries of convention, race, class, and gender — giving many of us a vicarious thrill." Hmm. Well, she does fly planes. And she chose to adopt children out of wedlock. Both symbols of different kinds of female liberation.

But can I just take a moment to suggest something? Jolie is rich. Jolie was born rich, to a rich family with ample opportunity. She did not have to struggle to become what she is, she attracted interest, and therefore power, simply because of her parents. I think that's a pretty good head start on the whole 'transgressing social boundaries' part, isn't it? It is definitely a good starting point for acheiving new levels of female liberation. You know, since she doesn't have social and cultural economics standing in her way.

The reality is that Jolie, like so many other women who we hold up as 'liberated' and 'modern' and 'icons' are trapped by the very beauty that made them popular. When it comes down to it, beauty is Jolie's commodity. Sure, a head start from the family helps, but Jolie is the most famous and powerful woman in the world for two reasons; 1. She's stunningly beautiful, and 2. she is stunningly beautiful and knows how to work the media. What else to we relate to with Angie? What other reason do we even have to know or care about who she is and what she does? Everything else is an afterthought that has come as a result of her beauty. Sure, people say we care about her children. But do we care about most single mothers with six kids? Not in the least. Why is Angie an icon? Because she's got great lips.

And isn't this exactly the kind of message Naomi Wolf wrote the Beauty Myth about in the first place? The damage is done on all of us, and now the damage is being ignored for a fluff peice in Harper's Bazaar.

To read these words from Naomi Wolf is particularly brutal. I'm going to go downstairs and read my copy of The Beauty Myth and go to sleep. Beauty rest, if you will.

PETA PRO-?

2009-06-07T22:29:00.005-04:00

Something just dawned on me. If you support PETA, does that mean you are also Pro-life?

So I had a little look into the idea. On their official site, PETA says, "just as the pro-life movement has no official position on animal rights, the animal rights movement has no official position on abortion," so this, I suppose should be taken at face value. It is fair to say that someone who supports the right of an animal to a humane existence though, would be the same sort of person who would oppose abortion, though, wouldn't it?

After all, if you are going to spend time and energy on fighting for the rights of animals to live, would you not be the same sort of person who would be spending time trying to make it possible for an unborn fetus to live?

Well, a little research goes a long way. It seems they are playing both sides of the issue. PETA recently posted ads in universities that read "Pro Life? Go Veg!" and ones that read "Pro Choice? Go Veg!"

PETA's official statement on the issue was, "No matter where you stand on the abortion issue, whether you're pro-life or pro-choice, if you want to be kind, please do the right thing and go vegetarian."

I really don't want to get too deep into the abortion issue. I mean, you can guess where I stand on women's reproductive rights. Where I draw the line is an organization who have questionable practices (google "PETA questionable practices" for more details) speaking out on an issue as sensitive and key to women's rights as abortion in order to further publicize their directives.

I understand - people who love animals hate to see them die in order for us to eat. And as a meat eater, I do understand why this is. Yes, it's hard to kill an animal, watch it die, cut its heart out and then eat the nice juicy meat. I would have a hard time doing this. And yes, I buy my meat, already dead from the butcher to avoid dealing with this reality. This is because of consumerism, the food chain, the modern cash/goods market and my removal from my own food supply. I get it, these are complex issues that need deep thought, and if you so choose to be a vegetarian, good for you. I can respect that, even if I don't fully understand why would want to move yourself farther from where you (in an animistic-you-have-carnivorous-teeth-for-a-reason sort of way) should be on the food chain.

However taking an issue like abortion, which is not a 'fetal rights' issue as some would like to present it, and is rather a women's rights issue, and parading it around to try and further your animal-rights agenda, is despicable. To me, it is making light of a very serious issue that is still unresolved in many parliaments and governments, so much so that at any time, the freedom of choice could be overturned. This is a frightening idea for me. I don't like the concept of the government having control of my uterus. And even in countries like Canada (where technically abortion is only legal because by definition it is not illegal) access is limited and the right to a safe, legal abortion is not even fully realized, there is still a lot of work to be done towards securing women's right to choose. So much so, that a campaign such as this one by PETA could be damaging to the movement. Why, PETA, would you choose this issue to ride on the back of?

Just another reason to look at PETA, shake your head, and wonder, WHY people care more about animals then they do about other human beings.

RIP Koko Taylor

2009-06-07T22:17:00.002-04:00

Koko Taylor was born on September 28, 1928. She was first discovered during a time in her life when she cleaned houses in Chicago, and would frequent blues clubs at night.

In 1962, Willie Dixon, an influential behind-the-scenes presence in Chicago blues, heard one of her impromptu performances and said, as she later recalled, "I never heard a woman sing the blues like you sing the blues." He took her to Chess Records, where he was a talent scout and producer, and wrote a number of songs for her, most notably "Wang Dang Doodle," which she recorded despite her initial trepidation about its raunchy lyrics. It made her a star.

Koko Taylor died June 3, 2009.

Archie Picks Veronica

2009-06-03T19:46:00.002-04:00

I've held off on commenting on this news story

because quite frankly, I'm well aware that it is a simple marketing ploy to drum up some interest in the comic, which surely has been experiencing declining interest with today's teens. But I can't resist any longer.

There is something so terribly wrong with making Archie choose, it's worse then when they had Big Bird see the Snuffalupagus. Things can simply never be the same again.

As angry as the concept makes me though, I can't say I'd have chosen differently. Veronica is more exciting, sexy and probably hotter in the sack. Maybe Betty's good girl persona is an act, and she'd be the one to chain you up and whip you, while Veronica would be the frigid "don't mess my hair" type. Who knows. This is why it sucked he had to pick.

Clearly a "Betty" more than a "Veronica" myself, I have always, in a part of me, wished to be a Veronica. I mean, sure, we Bettys can tell ourselves that being able to fix cars, sew, cook and take care of our own finances is the better way to be. And I'm sure it is, morally. But don't Bettys wish to occasionally get away with playing the fairer sex card?

It's as complex as being a feminist these days. Sure, I'm a feminist, and not afraid to say it. I feel awkward that my boss insists on opening doors for me (to the point of refusing to let me open it for him) but on the other hand, sometimes I think I'd like to have babies and stay home and raise them for a husband who has a good job - good enough that I'd never feel the need to work again. The real complexity is that these feelings change daily. Some days, I wish to be more Veronica, rich, mean and sure of myself. Other days, I want to be Betty, blonde, smart and independent. In a perfect world, I'd like to be able to be both. In many ways, I am both.

The beauty of Archie comics is (other than the stunning Dan Decarlo illustrations), or should I say was the fact that when reading them, I could be both. Just like in real life, I could be blonde, smart, independent, but have a dash of Ronnie too. A dark side.

Archie however, will never know just how dirty a good girl can get once she's out of the drawing room.

Jane's Addiction Renaissance

2009-06-03T19:42:00.002-04:00

Sex Theme Dance Party Song List

2009-05-22T15:42:00.001-04:00

"Get Naked" Britney Spears
"Nasty Boys" Janet Jackson
"Milkshake" Kelis
"Me So Horny" 2LiveCrew
"My Neck, My Back" Khia
"I Like to F*ck" Young Hot Rod
"Maneater" Nelly Furtado
"Oh La La" GoldFrapp
"Head" Prince
"Shake That" Spank Rock

Oh The Hilarity: Cosby Show Porn Spoof

2009-05-21T18:45:00.000-04:00

This is golden.

Illustrator of the Month - May

2009-05-21T14:57:00.002-04:00

Whoops! I missed April. Oops. No nudity this month, still haven't figured out what site to use to host my naughty images.

Susan Burghart is an illustrator originally from Ellensburg, Washington and a graduate of Central Washington University. Susan worked as a graphic designer for about seven years for her alma mater. During this time she relied on doing a lot of vector illustration to spruce up various layouts. Susan was also doing some freelance graphic design and illustration on the side. After receiving unexpected attention and commissions for illustration work, Burghart started to think more seriously about pursuing illustration full-time. In 2005 she went back to school to study illustration, receiving a Master's Degree with Distinction in Illustration from Camberwell College of Arts, University of the Arts, London.

I love her illustration style - you can tell she is a graphic designer by trade - her use of typography is top-notch and works as an accent to her designs rather than stand out as an afterthought.

Lovely!

Debunking Myths about Child Nudity

2009-05-20T22:52:00.003-04:00

A contentious issue to say the very least...

Read a great article on the topic here: http://www.nationalpost.com/story.html?id=1607278

Sample Quotes:
"The prime myth is that all photographs of child nudity are illegal. This is no longer in the background but considered a specific "fact." In early April, Ruth Marcus of The Washington Post left no doubt: "Nude photos of minors -- even if the minor is you --are child pornography."

What about those tweens taking shots of themselves for Myspace? I'm not saying I think it is the best idea, but why should the law be able to stop a woman from expressing her sexuality?

"We encourage sexist beauty pageants that sexualize young girls while we vilify their non-sexualized unclothed portraits in a project with proven therapeutic value. We engage in abstinence-led sex education despite convincing evidence that it doesn't work."

When will sexuality become a healthy normal thing? Why is human sexuality, and the expression of it, always negative? In art we learned the difference between nudity and nakedness. What I like to call Hyper-Fear-ism is ruining the world, one censorship at a time.

Just think of all the great art the world would be without, if the censors had their way.

Miss Pole Dancer 2009

2009-05-09T14:27:00.002-04:00

My goodness, I can't even fathom how some of these moves are even possible.

Slow Blog, Take it Easy

2009-04-25T15:14:00.001-04:00

Hey kiddies,

Sorry it's been a touch quiet over here these days. That's because I'm also blogging here:

www.secretsfromyoursister.com

You can see the most recent post on the home page, or catch up on the whole blog under the blog tab. Check it out!

Photobucket Sucks (and not in the good way)

2009-04-12T16:52:00.002-04:00

Hey there readers!

Photobucket has censored me again, this time for erotic artwork, instead of photographs. I'm not sure what exactly is required to 'violate terms of service' seeing as some of my images seem ok and others that are very similar are deemed inappropriate.

Anyone out in the land of the internets have any suggestions for me? Another photohosting service? Please help! I want more smut on this blog, not less.

Thanking you in advance, Jacalicious.

Illustrator of the Month, March

2009-03-29T18:32:00.002-04:00

I think I forgot February. Oh well. Herein I will make that up with the following images:

Justine Lai was born in San Francisco in 1985, and was raised in Sacramento, California. She currently lives and works in San Francisco. This series, titled Join or Die, pictures the artist herself having sex with each one of the Presidents of the United States in chronological order. It's boss. I really appreciate the variety of sex acts she portrays, and her vivid illustrative style.

See them all here:

http://justinelai.com/

Topping from Below

2009-03-23T19:32:00.001-04:00

Professor Foxy,

I've had submissive sexual fantasies since I was very young and it's something that I've always found really difficult to come to terms with. I'm a very assertive and driven person in real life so it's just really hard for me to accept how much I sexually enjoy giving up control and power.

I've been dating my current boyfriend for two years and we've experimented quite a bit with bondage and dominance play. It's always incredibly arousing and fun for me. And he enjoys it too because he can tell how much it turns me on.

Intellectually I understand that these feelings are just a part of my sexuality and that they don't have anything to do with who I am outside of the bedroom. But at the same time, every once in a while I just feel so ashamed and guilty. It's hard to reconcile being a feminist with my strong sexual desire to submit. What can I do to accept my sexuality for what it is?
-Conflicted feminist

Hi Conflicted -

A good step towards accepting your sexuality for what it is may be to unpack it a little bit more. I want to quote you back to you: I'm a very assertive and driven person in real life so it's just really hard for me to accept how much I sexually enjoy giving up control and power.

I'm going to come back to the first part, but first let's focus on the second part of the sentence: I sexually enjoy giving up control and power. YOU give up control and power. In the real world, power and control are taken from women in an effort to make them submissive. In your sex life, as convoluted as this may seem, you are in power because you make the choice to give up power. Your boyfriend (yay for him) engaged in this because you (still in power) asked him to engage.

As much as the sex play is about you "giving up power," in reality you are still the one in control.
A friend of mine is a strong, independent, assertive woman, who, like you, enjoys being submissive sexually, says it this way, "even when I am being submissive, I know that I am the one in power. I let the person dominate me, I set what can and cannot be done, and I can call a beginning and stop to the action."

And now back to the beginning of your sentence "I'm a very assertive and driven person in real life." Sex can be a healthy way of achieving balance in our lives. Acting out your submissive side (a side every person has) allows you to unwind and let go. We all need to have a place to act out all of our different sides and it looks like you have found a place to act out one of them.
-Professor Foxy

http://www.feministing.com/archives/014384.html

Who'dve Guessed?

2009-03-17T19:52:00.002-04:00

Who'dve guessed that intelligent social sexual commentary would come from the website Hot Chicks with Douche Bags? Certainly not me. Feminism? No, not really, though it is generally surprisingly kind to the fairer sex. Humour, yes. Unbelieveable haircuts? Yes! Incredible proof people have lost their minds when it comes to self tanning? Definitely. But intelligent social commentary? I wouldn't have guessed.

Here's the post I'm referring to, but if you haven't checked out the site in general, I suggest you do. For a lark. My favourite is the Oompa Prompa, make sure you check them out while there.

The "I'm Getting Some" Defense

Much of the douchewank defense rests around the notion of an "ends justify the scrote" mentality. That if you "get some" as a result of clownish buffoonishness, then it is inherently justified.This is the core concept of choadscrote defense that we, on our mission quest, must overturn.

Spectacle in the service of Ass Pear is not, in and of itself a justification. Ass Pear can be achieved without a turn to narcissistic brand-name spectacle. All it takes is a cultural shift. A revolution.That's what HCwDB is dedicated to.

By shifting notions of the sexually desirable into an unattainably symbolic "Otherness", what Lacan calls the Objet Petit a, consumer culture fuels this chase for the unattainable through purchase of the brand-name object.

Ed Hardy, Affliction, A/X, Grey Goose, each of these products work to sell themselves as means to the Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh to the Douchewank and, simultaneously, that if the Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh agrees to boink the Douchewank, that she has acquired the cultural capital to validate her own hottness.The products are the scorecard. Name Brands as hierarchy. Bodyspray as sexualized determinant. Jewelry, sunglasses, hair spike, all the costume of sexual validation forced upon us within cultural structure patterns.

This sexual dialectic has become inherently corrupted by mass culture. Our bodies have become the templates of this tug of war product inscription. Our eros forced to intermingle with market style branding.

So no, whether or not you "get some" does not validate participation in the systemic corruption of intimacy into the culturally validated media spectacle. The means do not justify the ends.

Even if the ends are a luciously pluckable Ass Pear.

Really, Vogue? Really? What a Joke!

2009-03-14T13:42:00.003-04:00

Here is the new cover of Vogue magazine:

At first glance, you think that it's refreshing to see a curvy woman on the cover, right? Even Beyonce's tag line, "Real Women Have Curves," jumps out at you.

But look closer. Here are the other headlines:
"Nip/Tuck: Designing a Perfect Body"
"Shape Issue: Fashion for Every Figure -From size 0 to size 20"
"Work It! - Longer Legs, Leaner Lines, Sexier Silhouette + The right swimsuit for your body type"
and last but not least,
"Weight Obsession: One woman conquers her diet demons"

This can't be real. It is fake, right? How can they promote having curves, dressing to look thinner, plastic surgury AND beating the weight obsession in the same issue? They can't. What they are promoting is the very weight obsession they are writing about. It's all kinds of fucked up.

F.U.C.K. Me

2009-03-12T12:41:00.000-04:00

Can't resist this. It is too good to pass up.

Barbie is Fifty

2009-03-08T18:57:00.002-04:00

Barbie turned fifty recently.

There are some pretty excellent articles about her on Forbes.com , including some celebrity commentary on what Barbie means to them.

Barbie manufacturers Mattel are celebrating her birthday all year - but there isn't a lot to celebrate lately. Sales are slipping dramatically, as she's come up against the Disney powerhouses of Hanna Montana, a younger, more innocent role model, and High School Musical, whose dolls are also 11" tall and wildly popular. One win for Barbie this year is the court ruling that Bratz dolls were conceived whilst their creator was employed by Mattel, and therefore Barbie now owns Bratz. What she intends to do with this ownership remains to be seen.

But fear not - Barbie has been through it all. If three lost presidential campaigns, a breakup of her 43-year long relationship with Ken, and constant wearing of 4" stilettos haven't broken her spirit, a little slip in popularity shouldn't hurt a bit.

There are upsides. Her popular webpresence is going to be dramatically improved, and already has 18 million registered users, and she's got a new partnership with Mac cosmetics.

She made her first appearance at New York Fashion Week - with fifty well known designers creating her outfits, and is opening her first flagship store in Shanghai, China. All exciting news for this old broad.

It's not the only part of her image she's revamping. Check out this recent incarnation with pink docs and an eco-conscious teeshirt message:

Barbie has taken a lot of flack over the years. People have criticized her looks, her figure and her apparent sexuality. But if this doll, which was created to fufill the desire of a demographic, was inappropriate, why do young girls love her so much? Did her creator really create a need, or just fill one? 90% of young girls own one, and most girls I knew loved Barbie through and through. I don't buy into the baloney that she is responsible for eating disorders. I think eating disorders are caused by something else altogether. But that's another post.

Boys like to play with guns - and will use sticks or their fingers to imitate guns if they do not have actual plastic guns to play with. Before Barbie, young girls had baby dolls, and could practice mothering, but only had paper dolls with which to practice being adult. As any woman will tell you, much of their childhood play experience with other girls centred on the concept of being grown up. Experimenting with fashion, makeup and most memorably, sex. Sure, Barbie looks a bit like a blow up doll - but if you are using her to practice making out with Ken, isn't that an appropriate look for her to have?

The real question is, what is so wrong with a young girl experimenting with her sexuality via a plastic doll? Is this not a healthy form of expression? I think it is - I think it's not only healthy but important. I wonder who I would be had I never had a Barbie - she was that important to me. She was a role model - she told me I could do and be anything. I could be an astronaut or a fashion designer, and be hot doing it either way. She could have lesbian trysts or threesomes without fear or repurcussion. Ah, the freedom of being plastic. She allowed me to escape the tragedy of childhood - that deep desire to be a grownup and have the world at my feet - a little bit earlier.

Happy Birthday Barbie, and thanks for everything.

Organ Donation

2009-03-06T20:34:00.002-05:00

Today my bf and I went to get our new health cards.

The woman at the counter asked us both if we'd like to donate our organs should we meet our untimely demise. I said yes, he said no. I began harassing him on the spot, trying to get his reasoning. He suggested he was a Witness and it was against his beliefs. Fearing the woman was a Jo-Ho, I kicked him in the shin, lightly. He went on to provide some bullshit reason as to wanting to go back into the earth "Just as he came into the world."

Anyhow I couldn't get a good reason out of him. I'm sure he has one.

The woman found the whole exchange quite amusing.

She looked at me over her glasses and said with a smug grin, "You know, it's the next of kin that gets to decide anyhow."

"Good," I said. "We just filed our tax returns as common-law for the first time."

The Dirtiest Rap Songs of All Time

2009-03-05T09:49:00.003-05:00

Click here to check out the list and hear samples.

A sample lyric, from "How Many Licks" by Lil'Kim:

Puerto Rican papi,
used to be a Deacon
But now he be sucking me
off on the weekend
And this black dude
I called King Kong
He had a big ass dick
and a hurricane tongue
Dan my nigga from Down South
Used to like me to spank him
and cum in his mouth

National Doodle Day

2009-02-27T12:08:00.003-05:00

It is National Doodle Day in the UK. What a wonderful holiday! I wish we had one in Canada. Celebrities auction off their doodles to raise money for people affected by epilepsy and neurofibromatosis. Check out the website here: http://www.nationaldoodleday.org.uk/

A study released today announces that doodling "improves memory and reduces daydreaming," which goes to show that I actually was paying attention in school and Ms. Harman, my french teacher in grade ten can bite me.

"For the study, published today in Applied Cognitive Psychology 40 volunteers were asked to listen to a boring two and a half minute phone message that gave the names of several people and places, reports EurekAlert. Half of the participants were asked to shade in shapes without paying attention to neatness while they were listening, and the other half were not. After the test, they were asked to write down the names and places that were mentioned in the message.
The doodlers recalled on average 7.5 names of people and places, while non-doodlers only recalled 5.8 items. "

It makes sense. If you are doodling, you can still listen. If you are not doodling, your mind might be wandering, and daydreaming, which is more distracting.

Apparently the US has a new Doodle Day coming up on May 7th. Here is Barack Obama's doodle submission:

Pretty good for a President, huh?

That Awesome Madonna/Letterman Interview

2009-02-25T23:12:00.001-05:00

I forgot how great this was.

I think she totally had a crush on him.

1994. Doesn't it just seem like yesterday?

Upcoming Trip

2009-02-24T20:22:00.002-05:00

In order to stay sane on a day-to-day basis, I need to plan trips. Having something to look forward to makes daily drudgery much more satisfying. I enjoy the count-down. Since my spring trip to San Andres or Cuba has had to be, um, postponed, I have decided to plan a smaller and much more manageable trip. Financially. Buffalo, New York USA!

The Albright Knox gallery in Buffalo is fantastic. It's much better than I would have expected for Buffalo, but I don't know why I'd think that other than Canadian snobbery. It is a lovely size and is always well curated. February 13 to June 10 there is a show called Action/Abstraction that I'm dying to see. I haven't been there since I checked out the James Tissot exhibit a number of years ago now.

The Action/Abstraction exhibit reviews American art from 1940-1976 as championed by well known critics and rivals Harold Rosenberg and Clement Greenberg. Artists included in the exhibition are, among many others, Mark Rothko, Jasper Johns, Clyfford Still, Frank Stella, Jackson Pollock, Willem De Kooning and Claes Oldenburg. I'm excited!

Claes Oldenburg "Bedroom Ensemble" from the National Gallery of Canada

Willem De Kooning "Woman V" from the National Gallery of Australia

Mark Rothko "Red, Orange, Tan and Purple" from a private collection

Jasper Johns "Target with Four Faces" from the Museum of Modern Art, NY

Clyfford Still "1952-no.2" from the National Gallery of Australia

Frank Stella "Flin Flon" also from the National Gallery of Australia ...

Jackson Pollock, "Number 4 1950" from the Carnegie Museum of Art, Pittsburg

I don't think any of those above pieces will be there, but you get the idea. I can't wait!

Most. Useless. Invention. EVER.

2009-02-20T20:23:00.004-05:00

The Bra Dryer is a "Patent Pending device used for drying bras", and will help "save your bras from damage in conventional dryers". Well, first of all, since you aren't supposed to put bras in the dryer, there's one big flaw with the concept. Also, it's something a woman doesn't actually need, which makes it genuinely flawed as a mass manufacture appliance, and since bra manufacturers don't actually recommend using heat of any kind to dry a bra, the concept is really a dud.

I suspect that the need for this has come out of women who insist on wearing moulded cup bras:

These presumably take longer to dry than the average lace bra, which take only 4-6 hours. Presuming this is the type of bra which as inspired the device, there is one other problem.

Behold the dryer:

It's just one size. And one shape. As women who wear molded bras know, they come in different shapes from different brands. The website claims it can be adjusted to suit many sizes, back sizes, cup sizes, etc, but this is a 'custom' part of the object. The website also claims it is the future of "luxury house appliances".

I wonder how much a custom bra dryer would cost. If it was fully customizable and utilized infrared technology, as it advertises, would it not be expensive? I'm sure it would be, if it is being called a "luxury" home appliance. This means the target market for such an item is the upscale luxury market. A market that currently purchases their bras at La Perla, for example.

In this case, their customer would certainly have more than one bra to choose from in their wardrobe, would they not? Why the rush to dry one in particular?

I am desperately hoping this is an ill-conceived student digital rendering project, but part of me says it is not, mostly because they are advertising for investors, and have a pretty slick website.

Anyhow, I'm chalking it up as the most hilariously useless invention ever. Can anyone top this? I think not.

Fuck You Men's Style

2009-02-20T20:06:00.002-05:00

Women as garbage? Thats a tad much.

I Love the Pet Shop Boys

2009-02-20T19:54:00.002-05:00

Rose is right. I need some Pet Shop Boys dancing time. Soon.

Not too sure how I feel about Gaga and Flowers muddling up the perfection that is the Pet Shop Boys, but I'll suffer through it, because I believe they are attempting to pay homage and give respect. That I'm down with.